


for your eyes only

by hilourry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Beads, Anal Sex, Bath Sex, Daddy Kink, Feminization, Fingering, Fluff, Insecure Louis, Kink Negotiation, Lactation, Light Bondage, Lingerie, Louis in Panties, M/M, Make Up, Mpreg, OK GET READY, Riding, Safewords, Spanking, Toys, a lot of lush products are used, bj, cross dressing, wow i think that's about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:06:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilourry/pseuds/hilourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis likes to feel beautiful and taken care of. Harry is just the person to help. They figure it out together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	for your eyes only

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [for your eyes only](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14256594) by [Louehsmile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louehsmile/pseuds/Louehsmile)



> thank you lacosta my lovely beta who puts up with my shit way too often

_Month 3_

Louis and Harry find out Louis is pregnant in his 10th week. They had been trying for three months, so when Louis finally showed the symptoms, they were eager to find out if it happened or not.

They’ve been married for a year, and together for a total of four. Kids are something they’ve always wanted, and once Harry proposed, they got Louis tested to see if he had the gene to get pregnant, and he thankfully did. It was something he’d always wanted to do, and the three days it took to get the results back were hell. When they got the call he was (very) fertile, he cried with happiness. It felt like the pieces of a puzzle coming together to give him a perfect life, it seemed. It was everything he had ever wanted.

They signed up for all the right classes, went out and bought Louis all the proper vitamins, and took all the steps they’d need to become parents in just a few short months. They cleared out one of their guest rooms to use as the nursery so they could start to prepare early on and make it as easy of a transition as possible.

After the second doctor’s appointment, they hear the heartbeat of their baby, and it brings tears to both of their eyes. Harry asks the nurse to get him the sound waves of it printed out. Louis is confused until he comes home the next day with it tattooed on the back of his neck, hidden under his hair, below Louis’ own heartbeat.

Louis has Harry’s heartbeat in the same spot on his own neck, a private spot for just the two of them. They did it on their honeymoon, an impulsive decision they made when they saw a tattoo parlor on their way to dinner. It’s for their eyes only, and that feels significant. When Harry added the heartbeat of their baby, it felt special, lovely, important, incredible, intimate. It felt like the start of their family, a tradition they could continue with for their future children.

Louis is twelve weeks pregnant when it starts. He doesn’t really know what makes him do it, but he does, and it changes everything.

He goes to the mall by himself to pick up some maternity clothes, since his belly has just ballooned out a few days ago enough to make it known he’s pregnant. Most people are devastated when that happens, knowing they’re going to get fat and their bodies are going through a major change, but Louis welcomes it. He knows it needs to happen, and he’s comfortable enough in his own skin. (That changes a few months down the line, but Harry works that out with him).

On his way out, he passes Victoria’s Secret, and it piques his interest. He’s gone in a few times with his sisters growing up, but he always knew he didn’t like girls, so it never did anything for him. He was never truly uncomfortable with it. Today, there’s just a little spark in his belly, and it’s not from the baby.

He walks in hesitantly, and decides that if anyone asks, he’ll say he’s shopping for his wife. He’s hoping he’s not showing enough to make it obvious that he’s pregnant and definitely not straight, but he’s far too embarrassed to let someone know this might be for him. He doesn’t even know what he wants, really; he’s just looking. Observing, actually. That’s what he tells himself, at least.

He’s only bothered once if he’s asked if he needs help and he politely declines. He wanders over to the panties, because everything else is way too overwhelming to even look at right now. He picks at some different types, feeling the various materials between his fingers. He gets to a lace pair of bikini cut panties that are a simple black with a small gold bow in the front; they’re soft to the touch and without much consideration, he buys them. On the way home, he tells himself it’s just a big joke. He’ll have it as a gag gift. He isn’t going to _wear_ them, of course. It’s all just for fun. Nothing serious.  
~  
He hides the panties in his nightstand drawer underneath enough stuff that they couldn’t be found. It’s under his pregnancy book and a mess of things like aspirin and condoms and lube. Most mornings, when Harry goes off to work, Louis opens up his drawer to feel them, but never tries them on. 

It happens on a Thursday morning. Harry leaves a little bit early for work that day, and Louis has the day off. He’s a primary school teacher and the kids have the day off for something Louis can’t remember, but if he’s going to do this, today is a perfect day.

He plans to sleep in, but once he knows Harry kisses him goodbye and Louis is sure he’s gone, he can’t fall back to sleep. He pulls the little black panties out of his drawer and feels them between his fingers. He contemplates it for a long while, but then he shoots out of bed and pulls off his joggers. He slowly steps into the panties, his pulse beating loudly in his ears. It feels so wrong, so naughty, but in the best way. When he pulls them over his hips, his cock is half hard inside of them, trapped in the fabric. He almost hoped they were uncomfortable and awful so he could throw them out and forget about it, but they’re insanely comfortable. The lace feels nice on his skin, and even on his cock. He cautiously walks over to the full-length mirror in their bedroom to see how they look. He wanted them to look ridiculous and stupid so he could be done with it, but they really, really don’t. They look…amazing. They fit him just right and show him off in the right spots. He looks down at the small swell of his belly that’s sitting between his hipbones and rubs it softly.

“Don’t tell daddy, okay? This is our little secret,” he whispers. If Harry found out, he’d be disgusted and freaked out, so Louis has to make sure he never finds out. This is just his. It has to be.  
~  
The problem is, Louis becomes more and more curious about panties. He wears the lace panties around the house whenever he can, even once to work to see how they felt underneath his trousers. (They’re lovely, almost like he’s wearing nothing. He never wants to wear men’s underwear again, really).

He needs to know what other materials look like, feel like. He wants silk, and cotton, and wants to try different cuts, like boyshorts and even thongs. The thoughts he has of them are so intrusive and become insistent, especially when he’s alone. On his way home from work, he stops at Victoria’s Secret again and picks up an assortment of different types to try. He’s always sure to use cash so Harry won’t see the name of the store on their joint bank statements, and it becomes the beginning of it all.  
~  
The Secret Stash stays a secret for all of two weeks. But, time gets away from Louis, and he’s trying on a new cotton boyshort cut, and he doesn’t have enough time to get them off when he hears the door open. He panics, trying to find a way to at least hide what he’s doing, but he’s got an array of panties spread over their bed and Harry is opening their bedroom door and-

“Louis?”

“Harry!” Louis squeaks, trying to cover himself with his hands. It’s a useless feat. “It’s…this isn’t…can you…can you please leave?”

“Louis,” Harry starts, but Louis cuts him off.

“No, this isn’t…isn’t what it looks like. Just…please, go!” Louis cries, a few tears falling down his cheeks. He’s so frantic that he can’t even manage to pull the panties off, his hands fumbling, frozen with fear. Harry comes over to him and holds his wrists firmly enough to get him to stop.

“No, Louis, no. Look at me, please. Can you relax, sweetheart? Just breathe. In, and out,” Harry says softly. Louis has a sob caught in his throat, though, and it’s so hard to breathe.

“No, I can’t,” he sobs. Harry pulls him into his arms and walks them over to the bed. He sits Louis on his lap and rubs his back with one hand and his belly with the other.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs softly. “Look at me, please?”

Louis whimpers but finally makes eye contact. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Harry asks, bewildered.

“Because this…” he hiccups, “is wrong. It’s weird and it’s bad.”

“Who said that?” Harry asks. “I certainly don’t think that. I think it’s lovely. You look…incredible. Are they comfortable? They look so comfortable and they look so nice on you, baby.”

His voice is as smooth as silk. He’s being so gentle and careful with his words, and his hands are a comforting pressure on his skin.

“They are comfortable,” Louis answers quietly, looking down at the hand over his abdomen.

“I’m sure,” Harry hums. His fingers skim the cotton around his lower back. “They’re so nice. This light blue color looks so pretty on you. You’re so beautiful, honey.”

He kisses Louis’ shoulder, places kisses over his collarbone and his neck. His fingers play with the hem of his panties and Louis squirms.

“Is this alright?” Harry asks quietly.

“I—um, y-yeah,” he stutters. “Is it…okay with you?”

“I think it’s wonderful,” Harry murmurs. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Louis says quickly. Talking about it would make this real, and he’d have to actually face it. He’s not ready for that.

“That’s okay,” Harry nods. “We don’t have to right now. Do you need anything, sweetheart?”

Louis knows he’s asking if he wants to have sex, or be eaten out, or something. Louis is too overwhelmed and tired for any of it right now, though. He shakes his head.

“No, I’m…I’m tired. I think I just want a nap,” Louis says quietly.

“Okay,” Harry kisses his cheek. “I’m sure our little peanut makes you tired. I’ll get you comfortable.”

Louis moves to take off his panties, but Harry stops him. “Why don’t you keep those on, baby? That way you can be comfortable when you sleep?”

“Is that okay?” Louis whispers. He feels like he needs permission from Harry to do this, and he doesn’t know why.

“You don’t have to ask me, baby. I want you to have whatever you want. I want you to be comfortable, too, okay? Let’s leave these on and have you take a nice nap, okay?”

“Alright,” Louis nods, biting his bottom lip. He’s sure his cheeks are flushed pink.

Harry picks Louis up and puts him into bed, tucking him under the blankets and sheets. Only wearing the panties is even more comfortable than sleeping naked, in his opinion. Harry kisses his forehead and goes to leave, but Louis grabs his wrist.

“Can you…stay here with me?”

“Of course I can,” Harry smiles, sliding into bed next to him. “Thought you might want to nap alone.”

“No,” Louis shakes his head.

“Okay,” Harry says simply. “Here.”

He pulls Louis into his chest, securing his arm around his waist and putting his hand over the small bump. Louis’ heart is still beating rapidly in his chest, but Harry murmurs comforts into his ears. He shuts his eyes and tries to bury the desire burning inside of him.  
~  
“Hey, you’re awake,” Harry smiles softly, pushing Louis’ hair out of his eyes. “How was your nap?”

“Good,” Louis replies, his voice filled with sleep.

“Here, sit up and drink some water,” Harry instructs softly. He’s always making sure Louis is doing what he’s supposed to do and he’s so protective. Louis knows he’s going to make an amazing father, because he already makes an incredible husband.

Louis sits up with some help from Harry and does as he’s told. Harry kisses his cheek and strokes his jaw with his fingertips.

“I want to talk.”

Louis blushes furiously and shakes his head. “Harry, I don’t want to. There’s nothing to discuss.”

“There is, though,” Harry murmurs. “Baby, it’s just me. You can tell me anything. I don’t want you to be embarrassed. I want you to have everything you want and if we talk about this I can help you, okay? Please, sweetheart.”

Louis’ bottom lip trembles with embarrassment, but logically, he knows they have to talk about this like adults, especially with the growing thoughts about all of it. He finally nods and Harry presses a kiss to his forehead.

Harry pulls Louis into his lap and strokes his bare spine, brushing the knobs of it. His other hand comes to cover the swell of Louis’ belly.

“Okay. There’s no shame here. I’m not going to judge you for anything you tell me. I just want you to be completely honest with me so I can give you what you want in the right ways, okay? Can we do that?”

“I guess,” Louis whispers, playing with Harry’s hand on his belly.

“Alright, good. So go ahead and tell me about how you’ve been feeling and why you hid all of this from me.”

“I just…” Louis takes a shaky breath. “I went into Victoria’s Secret a few weeks ago. I don’t know why, but I did, and I bought a pair of underwear. I guess it was like a joke or something, but then it wasn’t, and I wanted to know what it was like. Then I tried them on and I…I liked them too much, so I bought more, and I didn’t want you to think you married some sort of freak.”

“I don’t think that at all, Louis. I will never think that,” he says firmly. “I think it’s so hot. I really do. And if you like it, that makes me like it even more. I want you to be happy and to feel sexy, and if this helps, then I’m so glad. Do you get that?”

“I guess,” Louis shrugs sadly. “I’m just embarrassed, I guess.”

“Please don’t be. I like it and you like it, and no one has to know besides the two of us. So let’s talk about what else you might want,” Harry says gently.

“What do you mean?” Louis asks hesitantly.

“Is it just the panties, or is there more?”

“I…I don’t know,” Louis whispers.

“Okay. Would you like if I called you princess? Or baby girl? Stuff like that?” Harry asks carefully. Louis is stunned that Harry can be so nonchalant and comfortable about the whole thing, and, in turn, make Louis feel comfortable. A spark runs down Louis’ spine when Harry suggests it.

“Oh,” he whimpers. “I…I’d like that very much. I don’t…this doesn’t mean I want to…be a girl, or anything.”

“I get that,” Harry hums. “Do you like to feel pretty like a girl, though?”

“Yeah,” Louis breathes. Harry really, really gets it.

“Maybe because you’ve only had female influences,” Harry says softly, rubbing his belly comfortingly. “Like, you really only had your mum, and all of your sisters, and there was no heavy male influence involved. You had to find your own way and now you sort of want to explore what they had. Is that right?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Louis nods. Harry understands him so well, even when Louis doesn’t understand himself. It does make sense, though. Louis was never a real macho kind of guy, and he always played girly games with his sisters, like wearing make up and playing dress up to please them. Louis thinks this is probably some repressed memory sort of thing creeping up on him.

It all sort of fell into place when he figured out he liked boys as more than friends and he wasn’t interested in girls. Every guy he went out with was a lot more “manly” than Louis has ever felt. He’s always been the bottom in the relationships, usually being more submissive. He did have days where he would take control, but he always bottomed, because he just felt comfortable in that particular role. He wants a lot more than that now, though. He’s pretty sure all the pregnancy hormones don’t help. There’s tons of estrogen pumping through his veins and so many feminine hormones that are making him want so many things. He thinks the panties and nicknames are enough of a start, though.

“Well, that makes a lot of sense, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. A lot of people want these sorts of things, and that’s completely okay. We’ll figure things out together. We’ll see what you like and figure out your boundaries as a team, okay? I want to be apart of this, Louis. Please let me in. I want to make you feel good, baby…girl.”

Louis blushes furiously and he tingles all over. Harry smiles softly and kisses underneath his jaw. “Is that good?”

“I…I like it a lot,” Louis whispers.

“I’m glad you do, princess.”

Louis shivers and his cock stirs with interest, confined by the panties.

“Are you really okay with this?” Louis asks softly.

“I’m more than okay with this. Just tell me what you want and we can make it happen, I promise. Nothing is off limits with us, baby. I’m here for you,” Harry assures him. “Plus, we’ve got plenty of time to have some fun before the baby comes.”

Louis smiles and nods. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

“I’m so happy you talked to me about this, babe. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for making me talk about it,” Louis says. “And thank you for understanding.”

“Always,” Harry murmurs. “Now come here, baby girl, let me take care of this for you.”

Louis whimpers and gets eaten out for a half an hour. The panties stay on the whole time, and Harry calls Louis his sweet baby girl. Louis has never come harder.

_Month 4_

The whole thing comes with a major learning curve for them both. Louis isn’t sure if it’s his hormone levels or just being shy, but there are a lot of times he’s easily frustrated by all of it. More than once, Harry has called him baby girl or princess and Louis had gone completely rigid and snapped. He later apologizes, and Harry is never angry, but Louis is. He’s not angry with Harry, but at himself.

“It’s okay, Lou. You’re not in the right headspace for it,” Harry had explained. “If you aren’t in the right mood it’s not good for you, and that makes sense.”

There’s one time they’re out to dinner with friends, and Harry does something Louis definitely doesn’t like.

“You look beautiful tonight, baby girl.”

He only whispers it into his ear, and it’s so loud that the others definitely didn’t hear, but Louis acts weird the rest of the night. To him, Harry might as well have shouted it over a microphone. When they get home, Louis is angry.

“Why did you do that?” Louis cries. “What if they heard you?”

“Louis, I’m sorry,” Harry says, shocked. “They didn’t hear me, it was so loud in there, but I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“What if they heard?” Louis sniffs. “It would be humiliating! They would know about what a disgusting freak I am!”

“Louis, no,” Harry tries to calm him. “You aren’t. I’m sorry I did that, Louis, I didn’t know, but I won’t do it again. Please don’t let this ruin what we have going, because you’ve been so happy lately. I promise not to do that again.”

“Okay,” Louis wipes his eyes. “I just…don’t want others to know. I want this to be just…our thing.”

“That’s fine,” Harry assures him. “It will be. C’mere, baby.”

Louis walks over and Harry gives him a tight hug. He kisses his temple and rubs his back. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Louis sighs tiredly. “It’s okay. I’m just emotional. I need sleep.”

“You do,” Harry hums. “C’mon, to bed we go.”  
~  
They’re learning the boundaries of it all, and testing the waters slowly. Harry always checks in, makes sure Louis is in the right headspace before saying anything. He won’t mention anything unless Louis brings it up first, and he’ll always ask first. Louis is so relieved that it’s, so far, going well. He’s not comfortable with it yet, but when Harry gets him into his headspace and takes care of him, nothing else seems to matter. All uncomfortable thoughts vanish and it’s okay. Harry will always cuddle him afterwards and take care of him. He makes sure Louis is okay, and the arrangement is working well.

Louis grows a little bigger in his fourth month, and a little more confident, and he wants a little more. He thinks about it too much, and he dwells in the beauty sections of the stores.

“Louis? Are you ready to go?” Harry asks, putting his hand on Louis’ lower back while they’re shopping. Louis is staring at Lush from across the hall from the baby store they’re in and imagines all the amazing things they have inside.

“Um, yeah, but…” Louis trails off. He knows he should tell Harry, and this one isn’t even that big of a deal, Louis doesn’t think. They can talk about this, for sure. “I…I want to go to Lush, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, sure,” Harry says easily. “Did you have something in mind?”

“I…I just wanted to look.”

“Alright. Let’s see what they have.”

Harry holds his hand and they walk to Lush. Louis loves the smell of the store, how pretty and light it is. The two of them walk around smelling different things, and Harry gets a small basket to fill. Louis finds it easier this time around. He throws in different bath bombs and body soaps and body scrubs. He pauses when he sees a special shaving cream.

“See something?” Harry asks softly. Harry isn’t sure if this is something they can talk about freely, or if they’ll play it off as “it’s for my sister”, so he’s careful with his voice.

Louis can’t really find the words, and he certainly can’t say it in public, so he hands over the cream and looks down with a blush. Harry seems to understand right away and puts it in the basket.

“That’s fine, baby,” Harry whispers, kissing his cheek. Louis grooms, of course; his groin is clean and takes care of his ass and hole. He never liked to feel hairy there, especially when he started having sex. But now he’s thinking what it would be like to have smooth legs, a hairless chest, no happy trail down to his cock, and no ugly patches of hair under his arms. He hates letting his facial hair grow now, because it doesn’t leave him feeling pretty. It doesn’t fit with the rest of what he wants. He shaves close every day to avoid those bad feelings.

“Yeah?” Louis whispers back, hand twitching on his belly.

“Perfect. Anywhere,” Harry specifies quietly. Louis blushes.

“Oh. Okay,” he murmurs. His face is burning hot.

“Is there anything else you like?” Harry asks. “They have nice stuff here, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis nods.

“Is there anything else you want, love?” Harry asks. “Pick anything you want, Lou. My treat for you.”

“Yeah?” Louis blushes. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Harry says. “My gift to you, just because.”

“Thank you,” Louis says softly.

“Course,” Harry smiles. Louis hesitantly picks out a few more items, making sure to smell them all beforehand to make sure the scent is what he wants. He likes the light, feminine ones rather than the stronger, harsh smells.

They finish up soon after, Louis getting anxious about it. He wants to get home and use all the products. His heart pounds in his ears with excitement and nerves on the drive home. Harry holds his hand, though, probably already knowing Louis is restless, and anchoring him, as always.

When they get into the house, Harry holds Louis’ hand and brings him up to their bedroom. He puts their bags from the mall on the bed and Harry kisses him.

“I have an idea,” he purrs. “How about I go draw us a nice bath? I’ll put in a bath bomb, light some candles…”

“Okay,” Louis speaks quietly and nods. “Can I…can you maybe…”

“What is it, princess?”

Louis takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Can I maybe…shave first? By myself? I don’t…want you there…not yet.”

“That’s fine,” Harry says, kissing Louis’ forehead. “You can go shower first, yeah? Just let me know when you’re done and I’ll set up, okay?”

“Okay.”

Harry pulls out the Lush shaving cream and the new, female razor they bought in the mall so Louis could get the whole experience of it, with a proper razor meant to shave legs. Harry kisses Louis again.

“Let me know if you need any help, baby.”

“I will,” Louis says, taking everything he needs and heading into the bathroom. He turns the shower water on as hot as it’ll go, feeling uneasy shivers down his spine. He steps into it and sighs with relief. The scalding water helps him clear his head for a moment and only focus on the burn. He grabs his soap and starts to scrub himself clean, but the abrasively, manly scent makes him uncomfortable. He realizes that Harry bought him soap from Lush, but he forgot to grab one. The musky, woodsy smell of the Old Spice leaves Louis wanting to crawl out of his skin. The problem is, when he gets into his proper, feminine headspace, he doesn’t like to think about the normal stuff he should be doing instead. It throws him off and makes him feel awkward and wrong about what he’s doing. He’s about to _shave his legs_ , and various other parts of his body, and this scent doesn’t put him in the right place. It reminds him that he is, indeed, a man, and it’s not a normal thing to be doing.

“Harry!” Louis calls. His body is tenser than it was when he first started. He was already worried about this entire thing in the first place, and now his state of mind might ruin everything.

Harry, bless him, rushes in. Louis knows he wouldn’t stray far when Louis is like this, already knowing how uneasy he is. Everything is still so new and fresh, and it’s still difficult for Louis to admit right now. Thankfully, Harry has been calm and collected about it all, and he’s a solid rock for Louis to use.

“What’s wrong, baby? Is everything okay?” Harry asks. Louis slides open the glass shower door and pops his head through the opening.

“I…I forgot to get my new soap,” Louis says with a shaky voice. “I used the Old Spice and I don’t…I don’t like it.”

“Oh, baby, I’ll get you your new soap. I’ll be right back, okay?” Harry says, kissing Louis’ dripping lips and leaving the room. He’s back quickly holding three different bottles. “Here, I didn’t know which one you wanted. Go ahead and pick, baby.”

“Which one do you like the most?” Louis asks, eyeing the bottles.

“I like them all, baby. You pick what you want for right now. He got a fruity, blackberry soap, a rose and lemon, and a cotton candy fragrance.

“The rose one, please,” Louis says softly. The color is a deep pink, and the scent is so light and clean.

“This is a very nice choice,” Harry praises, handing it over. “I’ll put the other ones away in a safe spot, okay? So they’re close but no one else needs to see them. We’ll set out a place in the bathroom for your special stuff, okay?”

“Okay,” Louis nods. Comfort blooms in his chest knowing Harry is thinking about this so practically so Louis is happy. Harry truly understands it, even if the boundaries are still a little blurry for them both. Harry is honestly doing his best and working so hard to make sure Louis is fully comfortable in his own skin. Harry has even done some research on stuff like this, on how to support your partner and make them feel good, and Harry has told Louis multiple times that it’s healthy for them both to explore their sexualities fully. It’s healthy for them as individuals and as a couple.

“I’ll leave you alone, baby. Just call me if you need anything else, okay? I’m so proud of you,” Harry says.

“Why?” Louis asks, bewildered.

“Because you’re doing so well,” Harry smiles softly. “You’re opening up to me. You’re trusting me with this, Lou. I’m proud of you.”

“Oh,” Louis whispers. “Thank you.”

He thinks over Harry’s word as Harry walks out of the bathroom. He never thought Harry would use the word _proud_ to explain how he felt about this situation, but Louis flushes happily with the praise.

Louis washes himself slowly, inhaling deeply. The calming breaths and the sweet smell of the soap both help calm him down, easing his nerves. Once he’s all washed up, he finally picks up the shaving cream. He holds it as though it may burn him. He doesn’t really know where to start with this. It should just be like shaving his face, but it feels so, so different.

He decides to start with his chest. He sees that hair first, and he’s suddenly disgusted with the light brown tufts there. He wants it to be smooth. He thinks about the baby, and it’s probably nicer for him to be smooth near where it’ll be eating. Louis wants to be all soft skin for his baby’s sensitive skin.

Next, he moves to under his arms. It takes longer, since it’ a much thicker patch of hair. Once he’s done with both, he feels the smoothness of it and smiles softly to himself. It’s all so new, but wonderful.

His happy trail comes off next, and grooms himself properly in the groin region. He cleans between his cheeks so he’s hairless, and his legs are last. His legs are a lot harder to do than he thought, but the end results are completely worth it. He continually rubs his legs together afterwards to feel how sleek and velvety his skin is.

Louis steps out of the shower and finds a pink, fluffy robe sitting on the counter with his name embroidered on the chest pocket in gold. He picks it up slowly, rubbing the material between his fingers. He brings it to his nose and it smells fresh out of the laundry with possibly a light spritz of some sort of floral perfume. Louis wonders if the love he has for Harry might actually seep through his pores.

He puts the robe on and presses his nose to the collar, indulging himself in the scent. He ties the belt above his bump and softly opens up the en suite door.

“Harry?”

“You’re wearing it,” Harry smiles, getting off the bed and moving towards him. “I ordered it online. Do you like it? I thought it would be nice for after a shower, and then today you picked out bath stuff, and I figured it was a good time to give it to you.”

“I like it,” Louis assures him. “It’s really soft.”

“Yeah, I’m glad,” Harry says, kissing Louis tenderly. “Do you still want a bath?”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “I didn’t wash my hair or anything and I really wanted to…spend some time with you…in there.”

“I did too,” Harry grins. “Why don’t you stay in here and I’ll fix our bath? You pick out what you want to wear afterwards, maybe, so after the bath we’ll dry you off and put you in a nice, fresh set of clothes?”

“Alright,” Louis says, coddling himself in the warmth of the robe. Harry gives him a smile before walking into their bathroom, and Louis moves to their Special Drawer. It used to be Louis’ Secret Stash, but it’s no longer a secret. Or, at least, it’s no longer a secret between him and Harry. He picks up a pair of light pink cotton panties with a hot pink lace trim and lays them out on the bed. He picks out one of Harry’s university hoodies from the closet and lays it next to the panties. He doesn’t like when he smells of cologne and typical manly scents when he’s like this, but he loves to wear Harry’s stuff. Harry’s smell will mix in with Louis’ floral, feminine fragrances to make something that smells like home and happiness. 

“Baby, the bath is ready,” Harry pops his head into the bedroom. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Louis smiles warmly. He feels clean, sexy, _pretty_. He’s definitely in the right headspace to do this with Harry, and he craves it deep in his gut. Harry reaches his hand out and Louis smiles, grasping it and letting himself be brought into the bathroom. It’s dark save for the bright candles flickering all around the tub, smelling of vanilla and lavender. The water is a gorgeous shade of pink from the bath bomb, and there’s bubbles filling the tub.

“Do you like it?” Harry whispers, standing behind Louis and holding his hips.

“I love it,” Louis replies, voice just as soft. “It’s exactly what I pictured.”

“I’m so glad,” Harry murmurs, kissing behind his ear. “Here.”

Harry helps Louis out of the robe and hangs it on the back of the door. Harry steps into the bath first and holds out both hands for Louis to take.

“C’mere, beautiful. Be careful. Hold my hands tight, okay?”

Louis smiles and nods before carefully stepping into the tub with Harry’s assistance. Harry sits down and helps Louis between his legs.

“Do you want me to wash your hair first, baby girl?” Harry asks, voice gentle and as soothing as the warm water.

“Yes,” Louis breathes.

“Then, if you’re up for it, I’ll open you up? Nice and slow?”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “Please.”

“Anything for you, princess.”

Louis closes his eyes and hums when Harry brings his big, strong hands into Louis’ hair, gently scraping and massaging Louis’ scalp. Louis smiles privately to himself when he notices it’s new shampoo. It smells like coconuts.

Louis, embarrassingly, gets half hard just front Harry washing his hair. It just feels so, so good, he can’t help himself. It forces heat to bubble in his belly and all of his pregnancy hormones don’t help the situation. He knows that Harry is going to take care of him, though, so he lets it happen. They have all night together, and there’s no rush.

Harry carefully washes the shampoo out of Harry’s hair with the showerhead, quietly instructing Louis to tilt his head back.

“All clean,” Harry murmurs in his ear. “Want my fingers now?”

“Yeah,” Louis whispers. “And…and then your cock.”

“Okay, baby. You’ve been so good, haven’t you? You’re so lovely. I’ll give you my cock, sweetheart. Just gotta open you up. Always so tight, aren’t you, love?”

“Mhm,” Louis nods. Harry grabs a bottle of silicone-based lube that they always keep on hand in the bathroom and spreads some on his fingers.

“Open your legs a little bit, sweetheart.”

Louis puts his feet on the bottom of the tub and opens his thighs in a V. He can still see his cock laying on his belly, but anything below that he can’t see because of the swell of his belly. Harry’s fingers come in contact with his puckered hole and delve into the tight heat. Louis moans softly, throwing his head against Harry’s chest.

“You okay, baby?”

Louis nods, turning his face into Harry’s neck. He presses a soft kiss to the damp skin there and Harry hums. His fingers press in deeper, deeper, deeper, until they’re firmly pressed inside. Louis takes a sharp breath through his nose when Harry’s fingers scissor him slowly. Harry’s left hand lays itself on Louis’ belly as he works inside of Louis, and Louis’ hand comes over Harry’s, their fingers fitting between each other’s.

Louis’ breathing becomes shallow when Harry adds a third, using nimble fingers to open him up. He strokes Louis’ prostate just enough to send a spark down his spine and get his hips to stutter. He’s so sensitive there, and Harry’s fingers are so good.

“Harry,” Louis whines softly. “Please.”

“Okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you. Do you want to ride me?”

“Yeah, D-,” Louis bites his tongue. There’s that word, trying to spill out from his lips, like it has the past few weeks. Louis absolutely will not let it tumble from his mouth.

“Hmm?”

“Yes,” Louis says, voice firmer.

“Okay, baby girl,” Harry murmurs, kissing between his shoulder blades and removing his fingers slowly. Harry helps him sit up on his knees, his beck facing Harry. This way, Harry can touch Louis’ belly all he wants and watch exactly where his cock his disappearing.

Louis holds the side of the tub, Harry’s hand on Louis’ hip and the other on his cock, holding it in place for Louis to sit on. Louis tries to find it blindly and whines, frustrated with himself.

“Hey, princess, it’s okay. Don’t get worked up, baby. I’ve got you, I’ve got you, watch,” Harry says softly, making sure Louis doesn’t get so upset he loses his headspace. Harry helps Louis sit on his cock, watching the head force its way into Louis’ tight hole. Louis gasps and slowly brings his hips down to meet Harry’s. “Is that good?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis moans, then forces his mouth closed. He’s too afraid of saying that…that _word_. He isn’t really sure when it started, but it’s been in the back of his mind for the past few weeks, and that’s definitely crossing a line. It’s way too weird to even discuss, and Louis would much rather bury it into his unconscious and never think about it again. Louis doesn’t _need_ it, or anything. (Except, he sort of does, on some level).

“You did such a nice job shaving, baby girl,” Harry murmurs, his hands all over Louis’ body. “Such soft, beautiful skin you have. God, those nice, smooth thighs…”

Louis whimpers under the praise, tightening his fingers on the edges of the tub and thrusting his hips up and down slowly. He rocks down shallowly, putting his head down and moaning softly.

“Feels good, doesn’t it, sweetheart?” Harry purrs. “My cock is so deep inside of you, and look how well you ride it. Such a good girl.”

Louis gasps when Harry’s fist closes around his cock and pulls slowly. Louis’ jaw drops open, moving his hips a little faster. Harry’s free hand roams his smooth thigh, his widening hips, his growing belly.

“You’re so gorgeous, princess. Look at how gorgeous you are, carrying my baby. Hips are so nice and full for me, and look at how round your ass has gotten. Looks better than ever, doll. So beautiful.”

One of Louis’ weaknesses is being complimented and worshipped during sex. Harry is constantly praising him and it makes Louis weak at the knees, especially now that they’ve started this whole situation. He loves being called pretty, beautiful, soft, and anything else traditionally feminine.

“My beautiful girl,” Harry murmurs, pressing open mouth kisses down the notches of Louis’ spine. Harry’s thumb swipes the tip of Louis’ cock and gives a gentle squeeze. Louis gnaws at his bottom lip, forcing his hips up and down to try and stroke his prostate.

“I love you so much,” Harry whispers, his hand sitting in the middle of Louis’ stomach. It’s really that one comment that pushes him over the edge. Harry says it all the time, of course, but in this context, with all the build up, it gets him where he needs to be.

Louis throws his head back and comes harshly with a loud cry of “daddy!”

There it is. There’s that word he told himself he would never, ever say in this context. But he said it, and it’s hanging in the air. The world stops for a long moment, but Louis quickly falls into sobs when he realizes what he’s just done and how badly he’s messed everything up.

He climbs off of Harry with tears blurring his vision. He wants to crawl underneath the earth and never be seen again. He stands up and tries to get out of the tub, his cries wracking his entire body.

“Louis, honey, stop,” Harry pleads, holding Louis tightly around the waist, enclosing his arms by his sides.

“Let me go!” Louis screams brokenly, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “Please!”

“Louis, you have to calm down,” Harry says, his voice still calm and soothing, even in such a frantic situation. “C’mon, I’m going to bring you into our bedroom and help you into some pajamas, okay? I’ll get you nice and comfortable. Do you want a hot cup of tea, too? I’ll make you some tea, bring you some of those cookies I made, huh?”

Louis can’t seem to catch his breath. He hiccups loudly, shaking his head. “N-n-no. I have to-I have to…”

He doesn’t know what he wants to say. Before he can get another word out, Harry picks him up bridal style, cradling him close to his chest. Louis turns his face away from him, squeezing his eyes shut as if that’ll stop everything from happening. It, unfortunately, does not.

Louis tries to protest everything, tries to fight Harry off, but he feels so weak, so tired. When they see the panties on the bed, Louis starts to cry harder. Harry shushes him quietly and puts them away, instead pulling out a normal pair of his briefs.

“Here, baby, here, it’s alright. I’ve got you.”

Harry helps Louis into his briefs and his large university sweater with a soft pair of joggers. Louis sniffs loudly, still hiccupping pitifully. Harry puts him into bed and tucks him into the warm flannel sheets.

“I’ll be right back, baby, okay? I’m going to make you some tea, okay?” Harry says softly, pushing the damp hair away from Louis’ forehead to press a kiss to his cool skin. “Please, Lou. You’re okay, baby. Stay right here with me.”

Louis doesn’t respond because he doesn’t trust himself to. If anything, this makes him want to call Harry that word even more. The way he’s caring for him like this, calming him down, putting him into pajamas and tucking him into bed is the definition of the word, basically. Louis’ head aches from the crying. He isn’t sobbing anymore, but there are still some tears that fall down his cheeks when he thinks about it too much.

“Louis, I made you some chamomile tea, and I brought you cookies. Will you eat them?” Harry asks softly, walking towards the bed with a cup of tea and a small plate of homemade cookies. Louis only shrugs sadly. “For me?”

Louis sighs and takes the steaming mug from his hands and leaves the plate on his lap. He takes a small sip of tea and swallows back the lump in his throat. He knows in his gut that Harry is going to want to talk about this, but he really, really doesn’t want to do that, like, ever. He absolutely cannot discuss this.

Surprisingly, though, Harry doesn’t bring it up. He lies beside Louis and rubs his swollen belly, his touch soothing. Louis drinks his tea in silence, and only nibbles on one of the cookies. His stomach is in a tight knot, and no matter how good Harry’s cookies are, he doesn’t think he can force them down right now.

Once Louis finishes his tea, Harry puts it on his nightstand for him and moves the cookies away. He opens up his arms and pulls Louis into them, rubbing large circles on his back. Louis takes a shuddery breath against Harry’s chest. He so badly wants to pull away from him and be alone, to force Harry away and tell him to leave, but he can’t, and he won’t. Harry only wants to help, and Louis knows that, he does, but it’s just difficult for him. He doesn’t want to have this conversation, and he knows it’s coming.

“Can we talk, baby?”

“No,” Louis whimpers, fresh tears pooling in his eyes.

“We have to talk eventually, Louis,” Harry claims quietly.

“No!” Louis yells, pushing Harry off of him and falling into another set of sobs. “No!”

“Louis, baby, please,” Harry says, his voice strained and his eyes full of worry. “Please talk to me. I want you to be able to talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk about this!” Louis sobs. “I didn’t mean to do it!”

Harry grabs Louis into his arms again, knowing Louis needs to be restrained sometimes to feel better. Sometimes, he just needs to be held until he feels like he’s been put back together.

“It’s okay, baby. Can I tell you a secret?” Harry whispers in his ear.

“I guess,” Louis sniffs pathetically.

“When you called me that, I came. Hard. Like, harder than ever,” Harry murmurs, his words slow and careful. “That’s what you did to me, Louis. I’m definitely not embarrassed about it. It got me off, baby, and it got you off, so what’s wrong? If we both like it, what’s so bad about it?”

Louis freezes with shock. He got so worked up that he didn’t even realize Harry came, too. He was too embarrassed about his orgasm to notice Harry’s. Harry came because of what Louis called him. _Hard_.

“It’s…it’s wrong,” Louis mumbles.

“Who says?” Harry asks. “If it makes you feel good, and it isn’t hurting anyone, why is it wrong? We’re both consenting adults. No one else has to know except for you and me. Let’s talk about it, baby. Please.”

“I don’t…I can’t…” Louis trails off, searching for words. He doesn’t know how to talk about it.

“Here,” Harry says softly, helping Louis between his legs. This way, Louis doesn’t have to look at Harry while he talks. Making eye contact while trying to talk about this might be too intimidating to handle. Harry’s hands sit on Louis’ stomach and caress it soothingly, pressing a few gentle kisses to the back of his neck. “I’m all yours, baby. You can talk to me about this. Please, sweetheart, I want to be able to help you. I want to make you feel good.”

Louis takes a shuddery breath and his bottom lip quivers, but he swallows the lump in his throat. He can talk about this. Harry only wants to help him, and he deserves to know everything. They’re a team, and Harry is so, so good to him. He’s stuck by his side through everything, and he loves Louis unconditionally. He deserves to understand this, too.

“Okay,” Louis clears his throat. “Well, um…you know, I never really had a dad. I’ve never even called someone dad before. I was days old when Troy left my mum, and from then, I never saw anyone as my dad. I grew up without a father figure, only my mum and sisters and so much femininity, which is why I…you know. But then I…you…you just…you take such good care of me. You call me your baby, which I love, please don’t ever stop, but…I started to feel like…your baby. You tuck me in, and you give me so much praise, and you buy me everything I want, and I just…it made me think. That’s what you’re going to do for our baby soon. That’s something I’ve never gotten from a man before. Yeah, my mom would tuck me in and stuff but…the girls were always praised more than me, since I was the oldest and a boy. It was more about the little girls in the house and buying them dolls and dresses. I wasn’t like, deprived or anything, but I sort of…grew up fast. My mum was alone for so long and I had to help around the house while she was working and take care of the girls. But now I’m…I’m your only one. You take so much time out for me, and I’m your priority and…it feels so, so good, Harry. I hope that doesn’t sound selfish or silly. I just…ever since starting this whole thing…I’ve just…thought about it a lot. I love being your baby, and sometimes I just…I feel like I need to be looked over, I guess? Especially ever since I got pregnant. Like, the hormones, and knowing you’re actually going to be a daddy soon. It’s not just…sexual. I just…I want to be looked after sometimes, and I’ve never gotten to have a proper dad before. I’ve never had that feeling of looking up to a male figure, and you just…you fit. You’re so amazing, in everything you do, and you love me through everything, and you take such wonderful care of me and our baby, and it just…does this make any sense?”

“It does,” Harry promises, holding Louis closer to his chest. “That probably wasn’t easy for you to tell me, but I’m so glad that you did. I understand completely, Louis. You are my baby, by the way. Always have been my baby. I’m so glad that I’m able to make you feel so good and that I can take care of you in ways that you need. This is something important, Louis, and I don’t want you to ignore it. This isn’t some silly sex fantasy to you, and it definitely isn’t to me, either. It feels like you’re trusting me so deeply with something so important. I feel responsible for you in so many ways. I want you to feel comfortable with this, baby. I want us to do this the way you want to do it. This is healthy, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you for telling me all of this. I’m going to make sure you feel so loved, and I take good care of my baby.”

Louis cries again, tears rolling down his face. Harry kisses every part of skin he can reach. “Please don’t cry, honey. Oh, baby, please, no more tears. I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

“I know,” Louis sniffs. “I’m just…overwhelmed and…happy.”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Harry smiles with relief. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re happy.”

“Thank you for being okay with this,” Louis whispers. “I know it’s all a lot to handle. It’s a lot for me, too, but you’ve been…you’ve been incredible. I don’t know how you know exactly what I need, but you always do.”

“We’ve been together for some time now,” Harry says with a soft twitch of his lips. “I’ve gotten to know you pretty well.”

“Yeah,” Louis smiles. “Just…I love you, okay? I love you so much.”

Harry presses his lips to the shell of Louis’ ear to whisper, “daddy loves you, too.”

Louis shivers and his heart jumps into his throat. It sounds even better coming from Harry’s lips, his low, silky voice making the word even lovelier.

“So, do you want me to be daddy? I mean, to the baby. Like, should the baby call me daddy?” Harry asks.

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “I do. It would be weird if I was daddy, yeah? Like, if I call you daddy, and the baby calls me daddy? It’ll fit better if it’s you.”

“That makes sense,” Harry hums. “So what do you want to be called, then?”

“Well, um,” Louis’ cheeks blush a deep red. “I was thinking…mommy? Because, like, I just…you know. I don’t really feel much like a daddy or papa or anything. It doesn’t feel…right. Plus, I’m…I’m carrying the baby, yeah? So like…I sort of am the mommy?”

“Louis, baby,” Harry laughs softly. “That’s a great idea, sweetheart. Mommy and daddy. You don’t have to try and explain anything. I think you’re going to make the best mommy there is.”

“You think?”

“You’re already so good,” Harry says, pressing his lips to Louis’ neck. “You’re going to be so incredible.”

“Thanks,” Louis whispers. “You’re going to be the best daddy, you know. You…you already are to me.”

His cheeks burn further as he says it, because it’s still so new, but it feels so nice to say. It’s right, somehow.

“I’m so glad you think so,” Harry murmurs. “I’m doing my best.”

“I know you are, daddy. And it’s working.”

Louis sleeps better that night than he has since starting this whole thing.

_Month 5_

Louis is doing a lot better. His belly is growing, and they just found out they’re having a little girl. Louis was so thrilled about it because he can buy her little dresses and do her hair and paint the nursery pink and have the prettiest little girl to ever exist.

Louis is also feeling a lot more comfortable in his skin. He isn’t so embarrassed about all of the things he wants. There are still some bad days where he absolutely doesn’t want to be pretty and definitely doesn’t want to call Harry daddy, but they work through those days as a team.

Louis has been wearing panties more frequently, even just underneath his normal clothes. He loves the comfort of them, especially how well they fit with his growing body. There are no tight bands like men’s underwear that dig into his skin, but soft materials that hold him nicely. Sometimes, he doesn’t even think about it. He just goes directly into his drawer to pick a pair out and there’s no internal battle about it.

Harry always praises him constantly, telling him he’s so good and so proud of him for everything he’s doing. They’ll go shopping together for panties and soaps and anything else Louis needs to feel good.

But today, it’s a rough day for Louis the minute he wakes up. He doesn’t feel himself at all. His eyes are puffy and his skin is oily and it’s a bad hair day and he’s never felt so far from beautiful before. He hates how he looks and he can’t feel good when he’s in this sort of mood.

He wears briefs that day and showers with Old Spice. He scrubs angrily at his skin, irritated with how ugly he feels. Harry, of course, picks up on it, but Louis tells him he doesn’t have time to talk about it and heads to work instead. He can’t deal with his feelings right now. He’s too in his head about it all and needs to take a step back from it.

Work is a good distraction. Being around the kids helps him forget about his problems for a while, and it makes him even more excited for his own baby on the way into their lives. When he leaves, though, he can feel the dread weighing down on him. He knows Harry will be home by the time he gets in, and he knows he’s going to want to talk about this, but Louis doesn’t want to. He feels awful and doesn’t want to deal with his fucked up mind. He wishes he could just be a normal guy without these desires that go much further than sex. He wishes he could ignore the urges and forget about all the things he wants. He wishes he could throw out his panties and his bath products and stop shaving and just be _normal_ , but he can’t. He isn’t capable of ignoring those urges, because they’re too ingrained in him. They’re too big to push to the back of his mind, far too big to extinguish. He feels like he needs them, even if he doesn’t want them.

Harry sends him a few texts over the course of the day, just simple and quick, asking if he’s feeling okay or if he needs anything or if there’s anything specific he’d like for dinner. It’s obvious to Louis that Harry wanted to talk about it and eventually gave up on it, only wanting to please Louis in some way. And anyway, food is always a great way to solve problems, or at least, it is for Louis.

Louis can’t get himself to respond to any of his texts, though. During his lunch break, he grades tests and when those are finished and he has nothing else to do, he pulls his pregnancy book out of his bag. Refocusing his thoughts on the baby and the best ways to keep it healthy are comforting distractions with benefits.

Once he finally gets through the day, he heads home without making small talk with any of the other teachers. He doesn’t really think he could manage that kind of confrontation right now. It’s bad enough he’ll have to face Harry soon.

After arriving home from his stressful drive back, he drops his keys on the small table they have sitting next to the front door and sighs loudly. Walking into the kitchen, he doesn’t find Harry, but he does find a bouquet of orchids waiting for him in a vase. It brings something awful out of Louis, something unsettling and uncomfortable and angry. He rushes over to it and pulls the flowers out of the vase, letting out a strangled scream and throwing them into the trash. He’s sure to tear a few flowers off of their stems and shredding them as he goes.

Harry runs out of his study with wild eyes. He rushes to Louis side to pull him into his chest and shushes him gently, sure to grab his arms and stop him from doing any more damage.

“Louis, baby, Louis! It’s okay, it’s okay! Please, relax, Lou, please. Not good for the baby,” Harry says, his voice strained. It’s that, though, that gets Louis out of his raging outburst. When it comes to the baby, he’s willing to drop everything.

“I’m sorry,” Louis gasps for air, his chest rising and falling rapidly with erratic breaths. “I don’t…I don’t know what’s happening. It’s not…it’s not a good day, Harry, fuck, I’m just, fuck!”

“Hey, hey, no, it’s okay, love, it’s perfectly okay,” Harry soothes a hand down his back. Louis is amazing and endeared at how easy it is for Harry to know what Louis needs and what to avoid. He knows not to call him baby girl or princess, knows not to treat him that way, and leave it at a simple _baby_ to know he’s still being cared for, to know he’s still loved.

“I can’t...I don’t know what’s wrong,” Louis sniffs. “I don’t feel…don’t feel right.”

“Here, baby, do you want to go to bed? Maybe take a nap, or I can make you some tea and we can cuddle. Or do you want to stay in the living room and watch a movie or something? Whatever you need, sweetheart,” Harry says, his voice careful and soft.

“I don’t know,” Louis hiccups. “I don’t know what I want.”

“That’s alright. How about bed, then? We’ll get you into some comfortable pajamas and I’ll make you a cuppa.”

“Okay,” Louis nods shortly. “That’s…okay.”

Harry kisses his temple and helps him to their bedroom, one hand on Louis’ lower back to stabilize him and the other holding his hand. Louis sits on the edge of the bed and rubs circles over his belly, trying to calm himself down. Harry pulls out a pair of soft flannel pajamas and an oversized cotton t-shirt.

“Do you think…” Louis trails off, shaking his head. He’s locked in his own mind, fighting an internal battle with himself and can’t pick a side. He doesn’t know what he wants anymore, afraid of what choice to make. If he chooses to do it, he risks feeling shamed, and if he doesn’t do it, he fears missing out on feeling good and instead feeling like he’s missing something.

“What is it, baby?” Harry asks softly, kneeling besides him and rubbing his thigh. “What do you need?”

“I think…I think I want to wear my…my stuff,” Louis mumbles, a soft blush blooming over his cheeks.

“Okay, lovely,” Harry says. “That’s wonderful. Do you want just your underwear or some pajamas, too? I bought you that cute little night t-shirt from Victoria’s Secret, if you want that one.”

“I…yeah, okay,” Louis eventually stops fighting and sighs, agreeing to it. If he continues to fight his desire, he’s only going to stress himself out, which he knows is bad for their baby. He feels good about this, feels at ease with himself, and the baby deserves mommy to be relaxed and just as happy.

Harry gives him a reassuring kiss and takes away the pajamas he had set out. He pulls out the new grey night t-shirt with long sleeves and a pair of cotton panties for underneath. He helps Louis change, allowing Louis to use him as leverage and pulls down the bottom hem for him, kissing over his growing belly that shows so prominently underneath the shirt.

“So beautiful,” Harry murmurs. “Looks so nice on you. Look how big your belly is getting! Our little Thumper is growing!”

Louis giggles and nods. Once their baby had started to kick, she wouldn’t stop, so they went with the nickname Thumper, which they both adored. “Yeah, she is, isn’t she? Doing well.”

“Well, her mommy is doing a great job, that’s why,” Harry says easily. “Taking such lovely care of her and made such a nice home for her. She’s going to be so loved.”

“I know,” Louis murmurs. “She is.”

“And you are so loved, Louis. You have no idea how loved you are. I think you forget, or try not to realize it, but I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything, and this baby is going to love you an insane amount. Her whole life depends on you, Louis. You’re going to be her entire world, babe. You’re going to be the first person she sees, the first person she gets a hug from, the first person to feed her, the first person to kiss her. You’re so loved by both of us, and that doesn’t even include all of your family and friends. The two of us alone love you more than anything, and you’ve got so many other people in your life. You will always be so loved, no matter what, and I want you to remember that,” Harry speaks softly, stroking Louis’ sides.

“I think I needed that,” Louis says quietly after taking a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

“I think so, too. You just need a little reminder every now and again, and that’s what I’m here for. Whatever you need, I want to give it to you. I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin and you just need to be shown a little bit of extra love from time to time. I hope I’m doing a good job of that.”

“You definitely, definitely are,” Louis whispers. “Thank you for everything that you do, honestly. You always know what I need and you’ve been my rock through it all. You make me comfortable in my own skin, Harry.”

“I’m so glad,” Harry murmurs, putting his hand on the back of Louis’ neck and pressing his lips softly to Louis’. “That’s all I want.”

“I think I’m feeling a bit better,” Louis admits, fatigue weighing him down. He lays his head on Harry’s shoulder and sighs tiredly. The events of the day are finally catching up to him and he doesn’t have the energy to be bothered with his thoughts.

“I’m glad to hear that, baby,” Harry says softly, stroking the hair on the back of Louis’ neck. “Here, I’ll tuck you in and make you some tea. I think you need a nap, my love. It’s been a long day for you, I reckon.”

“It has,” Louis yawns, placing a hand under his belly. “She wears me out, too.”

“I’m sure, with all her thumping,” Harry grins. “C’mere, love.”

Harry supports Louis’ weight as they walk over to the bed. Harry helps him sit and pulls the sheets over his body and dropping a kiss to his forehead. Just this simple act always leaves Louis feeling sated, knowing Harry is taking such good care of him and treating him like his baby.

“I’ll be right back, baby,” Harry says quietly, giving his belly a quick rub and a kiss before he walks out of the room. Louis closes his eyes for a moment, rubbing over his belly to try and calm the baby’s incessant kicking. It’s like she knows when she isn’t the center of her parents’ attention and feels the need to make herself known.

“I’m here, kiddo,” Louis murmurs to her. “Mommy is right here. Not going anywhere. I know you’re there. Daddy will be right back with some tea for us, maybe some biscuits, too. You love those, don’t you?”

He sighs softly, trying to keep himself calm. The baby knows when his mood changes, can always feel his unease and isn’t pleased about it. He knows that stress is so bad for unborn babies, and he’s doing his best to keep it at a bare minimum. Thankfully, his job isn’t very stressful, he doesn’t have to bring his work home with him, and if anything, it makes him happier. He loves all of his kids, and even if some days can be a handful, he always has his aide by his side, and the class is pretty well behaved. All of the stress is his own internal burdens. He’s got a beautiful house, with the most incredible husband, and he should be happy, and he is, but he doesn’t seem to stay that way for long. He knows if he could get over his insecurities, indulge in his desires, he’d be on cloud nine. He knows exactly what’s keeping him from being his happiest. Ideally, he should just stop being so concerned about what other people might think, because the only opinions he cares about is Harry’s, and Harry is always supporting him and whatever he wants. He’s been so understanding about it all, and he’s the only one who has to know about this, so Louis’ insecurities are completely irrational, and he’s aware of it. He just needs some time to fully believe that, to fully adjust and accept himself for who he is.

“Got your tea, love,” Harry says softly, placing the mug beside him on the nightstand and kissing him softly. “You alright? Look exhausted, honey.”

“I am,” Louis sighs. “Guess I’m just drained from everything. You know how I get.”

“Mm, ‘s also the baby, I’m sure. Can’t be easy to carry her around all day long. You’re doing so well, though. God, I can’t believe how good you are at this whole thing. You’re such a natural, like you’ve done this a million times before. I’m so proud of you, you have no idea. You make me so happy,” Harry tells him, his thumb brushing over Louis’ cheek. Louis smiles softly and turns into his soft touch.

“Thanks,” he replies softly. “Come lay with us?”

“Of course.”

Harry gets into bed with him, crawls under the covers and tangles their legs together. Louis sips from his tea while Harry plays with Louis’ belly, rubbing it softly and singing to her. Louis plays with Harry’s hair and smiles, his eyes starting to drift shut, Harry’s gentle voice lulling him off to sleep. Harry is sure to take his empty mug when he’s done so he doesn’t drop it and Louis smiles gratefully.

“Love you.”

“I love you,” Harry replies, pressing a kiss to his mouth. “So much more than you know. You should get some sleep, baby. You both need it.”

“Mm,” Louis hums in agreement. “Should. Thank you, by the way. You really helped me a lot today, as usual. I feel a lot better.”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Harry murmurs, kissing his temple. “I always want to make you feel better.”

“I’m sure you will.”

Louis curls himself into Harry’s warm, Harry’s hand splayed lovingly over the swell of his belly. Harry presses a few kisses to the back of his neck and Louis falls into a restful sleep, more restful than he’s had in weeks.  
~  
Louis is finally, finally starting to handle it all a little better. He’s starting to feel comfortable with it, confident with himself and his desires. Harry is behind him all the time, sure to catch him if he falls. If things get too overwhelming, too hard to deal with, Harry helps him take a step back and calm him down, or maybe get him back into the right headspace, which he’s becoming increasingly good at doing. (Or it’s because it’s easier for Louis to let go. He isn’t sure which it is).

He’s so good, in fact, that he thinks he can ask Harry for this next thing. He’s been thinking about it constantly, wondering if he was ready for this, or if he even wanted this. He wasn’t sure if it might be over the line, or possibly too weird, too much to handle, but after a lot of consideration, he decides it’s something he wants to try, even if he might not like it. He’s willing to try it to see if this is something that might help him feel good, might become a big part of this thing he does.

Rationally, he knows he doesn’t need Harry’s approval, and he can do this without asking. Harry will support him no matter what, but Louis finds it easier with Harry there to praise him and comfort him through any of his worries. He’d rather have some help from Harry than possibly having a breakdown about it himself. He needs Harry to keep him upright.

He brings it up when Harry is doing his weekly photographs of Louis’ belly. Since he’s a photographer, he’s obsessed with taking pictures of Louis, especially now that he’s pregnant. He likes to see how his belly grows over time, and Louis loves it, too. Harry has already told him about his plan of making an album or a collage to hang up of his pregnancy, and then start a new one for when she actually arrives. Louis knows he’ll be having photo shoots of their baby the second she comes out of the womb, and it leaves Louis feeling warm all over. 

Louis is sitting in their garden, wearing a pair of light wash jeans and a white t-shirt. That silly saying _April showers brings May flowers_ , happens to be absolutely true. The flowers are vibrant and in full bloom, so Harry insisted that they do it in the garden now that the weather is starting to warm up. Harry is having a field day with it, really, saying the sunlight is perfect right here and now, and it gives Louis and even more beautiful glow.

Louis sits with his legs crossed and his hands on his belly, looking down at it as Harry snaps picture after picture. Louis gives him a few smiles and looks at him from underneath his eyelashes. Harry takes a few with Louis lifting his tee to expose his skin and he’s so focused, so concentrated on doing what he loves. He’s so passionate about photography, and it’s part of why Louis loves him so much. He loves watching him work, watching his eyebrows crease and biting his bottom lip until it’s red and swollen.

“Can I ask you about something?” Louis finally speaks up, moving the hair out of his face.

“Sure, babe. Anything,” Harry says, getting out of his kneeling position and sitting down across from Louis. He takes his hands and presses kisses to each of his knuckles. “Is everything okay?”

“No, yeah, everything is fine,” Louis reassures him. “I was just thinking about…you know, this thing. I might…I might want more? I’m not sure, but I think I’d like to try it and see. I might hate it, but I’d feel a lot better if I knew for sure if I liked it or not. Does this make any sense or am I just rambling?”

“It makes sense,” Harry promises. “What do you want, baby? Daddy will buy you whatever you need.”

Louis flushes softly but smiles, looking down at their joined hands. “Um, make up? I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I just need to try it to know for sure. It just…it would fit with everything else I’m doing, and it might make me feel better? Like, more comfortable, I guess. But like I said, I don’t know. Is that okay?”

“You never have to ask me if it’s okay, baby. Anything you want is okay with me. You absolutely don’t need my permission, but if you need my support, you have it, love. I think that might really help you. We should try it and see how it makes you feel. I’ll buy you whatever you want, baby doll. Maybe we can take a trip to Sephora tomorrow if you want? Even go to Victoria’s Secret and see if there’s anything else you want to buy.”

“Okay,” Louis smiles. “Thank you, daddy.”

Harry grins and leans over to kiss him. It’s become easier for Louis to say that one word, and it makes him feel so good coming out of his mouth. It’s not always, because sometimes he doesn’t need it, but times like this, when they talk about it and Louis needs some comforting.

It’s working for them both.  
~  
Harry does take Louis to Sephora and Victoria’s Secret the following day, letting Louis pick whatever he wants. It’s becoming easier for Louis to go into the stores and pick out exactly what he wants. If anyone asks, he’ll play it off, because he’s definitely not going to admit he wants to wear make up and call his husband daddy, but it’s becoming less difficult to do. Harry always comes with him, though, just in case Louis gets overwhelmed and upset, and he’s able to bring him back down.

The trip is successful, though, and Louis handles it all very well. There’s no sudden anxiety or panic, just pure curiosity and awe at all the choices he has. Harry helps him pick what he thinks might be best, and Harry assures the saleswoman that they don’t need any help.

Harry buys Louis a black and silver makeup bag so they can keep all of his stuff organized and it’ll be easily hidden if need be. When they get home, they go through all the stuff they’ve purchased in their bedroom. Louis thinks maybe this is too much make up, but he might love it and possibly start to need it the way he needs everything else. There’s black eyeliner, mascara, one pink lip gloss and one red, a small eye shadow palette with natural colors, and a light blush. Louis isn’t even sure how to apply most of this stuff, but he knows you can learn just about anything using YouTube.

At Victoria’s Secret, Harry purchased Louis a piece of lingerie. Louis was hesitant at first, because he’s never gotten anything like this before, but he falls in love with what he finds and quietly asked Harry if he could please buy him that one. Harry just smiled with a nod and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Louis was a little uncomfortable with the ones that had built-in bras. He knew that something like that would only make him feel uncomfortable about it and make him overthink it. Harry rubbed a hand over Louis’ lower back and quietly shushed him, showing him over to some other choices, better choices. He settles on a simple black chiffon babydoll, opening up right underneath the bust to show off his pregnant belly. It comes with a simple pair of silk panties and no built-in bra, thankfully.

“Do you want to try it out tonight?” Harry asks, sitting on the bed next to Louis and putting a hand on his back.

Louis shrugs and takes the babydoll out of the pink bag. It’s a beautiful material and he’s sure it’s just as lovely as wearing panties, maybe even better. He could probably use a good round of sex, anyway. It might put him in a good mood and ease any sort of stress. “Do you want to?”

“I always want to with you,” Harry says and Louis smiles.

“I do sort of want to put this stuff to good use…but maybe I should look up the right way to apply this stuff? I know a little, from my sisters, but not a lot,” Louis blushes.

“Let’s watch some tutorial videos together, then. Afterwards, if you’re still in the mood, we’ll fool around,” Harry promises, placing a kiss to Louis’ temple. “How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” Louis sighs happily. Harry reaches over to grab his laptop from his nightstand and opens it up. Louis snuggles into his side, putting one of his legs between Harry’s. Harry kisses Louis’ forehead and goes to YouTube. They spend the afternoon watching videos on how to apply makeup for beginners, because Louis doesn’t plan to attempt anything fancy like winged liner. He probably wouldn’t even be very successful, and he doesn’t think he needs that to feel good. He just wants the basics covered and see what he likes.

“That doesn’t look too bad,” Harry murmurs, playing with Louis’ hair. “What do you think?”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “Not bad at all. I think I could handle it. It looks…good, yeah? She looks so pretty.”

“You’d look even prettier,” Harry tells him. Louis smiles and buries his face in Harry’s chest to hide his blush. It’s still weird to think about, to know he’s got a bag full of makeup waiting for him. He can’t think of anything to say, but Harry seems to understand that. He just plays with his hair and presses kisses to the top of his head.

“I think I’m too tired to do anything tonight,” Louis yawns, rubbing his belly. “Feels like it’s been a long day.”

“Everyday is long when you’re pregnant, I imagine,” Harry grins. “Got to be exhausting. We don’t have to do anything tonight. If you’re tired, that’s perfectly okay. Now you know what to do, though. I’ll go make dinner and you can take a nap, yeah?”

“You sure? I can help you,” Louis says, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to get out of bed right now even if he wanted to. He’ll have plenty of energy, and two seconds later, he feels heavy exhaustion settling in his bones. He knows it’s the pregnancy taking the energy out of him, and it’s something he just has to deal with. It’s not so bad, though, since Harry is so wonderful about taking care of him, always making sure he’s getting enough sleep and food and water. He’s an incredible husband, and he’s already such an amazing father, even if it is to a grown man.

“No, baby, you and my little thumper need your rest. I’ll wake you when it’s ready. Does pasta sound okay?” Harry asks, stroking his fingers down Louis’ belly.

“Sounds perfect. Angel hair, please? That’s my favorite. It has a better taste,” Louis says, playing with Harry’s fingers.

“Mm, so you’ve said,” Harry grins. “I’ll make angel hair just for you.”

“Thanks, daddy,” Louis whispers, willing his blush to go away as he says it. Harry smiles and presses his mouth to Louis’.

“Of course, baby. Go ahead and get some sleep. I’ll take my time so you can get a decent nap in,” Harry says, pushing some hair out of his forehead.

“Thank you,” Louis says again. “I could really use it.”

“I know. Go ahead. Sleep well, lovies,” he murmurs, kissing Louis again and then his belly. Louis grins tiredly and rubs his palm over his stretched skin.

“Night.”

Harry stands up and Louis watches him leave the room. “Your daddy is the best,” he whispers to his belly. “You’re going to love him just as much as I do.”  
~  
On Saturday, Louis feels ready for it. He’s been thinking about it all week, looking through his makeup bag and picturing what it might be like. They’ve got the whole day to themselves once Harry gets home from an early morning shoot.

After a quiet dinner in together, Louis curls into Harry on the couch and puts his hand on Harry’s abdomen. “Hey,” he whispers, pawing at his sweater.

“Hey, you,” Harry whispers back, smiling.

“I think I want to try it tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” Harry asks, trailing his fingers down Louis’ arm. “You up for it?”

“I am,” Louis hums. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I want to try it. I’ve waited long enough. The anticipation is eating me up.”

“I’m sure,” Harry says. “Do you need any help? Do you want me there with you, baby?”

“No, that’s alright,” Louis says, sitting up straighter. “I want to surprise you with it.”

“That sounds exciting,” Harry grins. “Just call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” Louis promises, giving him a quick kiss before standing. He needs a little bit of assistance from Harry and the couch, because he’s getting bigger every day and walking is getting a little difficult, but he manages. He waddles towards the bedroom and grabs his makeup bag and the babydoll hiding in his closet. He’s in the mood to look pretty, in the perfect headspace for it, and nothing has interfered yet. He decides to take advantage of this rare occurrence and get undressed, slipping the babydoll on. He hasn’t tried it on yet, figuring it would be better to wait until he was completely ready to put it on. He’s glad he waited once he looks in the mirror.

He feels good, _sexy_. He smiles at his reflection, putting his hands on the bump making an appearance between the opening of black lace. He slips on the silk panties and it feels so good on his warming skin. He loves his it falls on his body, and he’s definitely happy that he can still pull it off even without breasts. It falls over his nipples with ease and looks absolutely fine. It looks _good_ , and Louis tries not to be too surprised about it. He knows he’s attractive, somehow attractive enough to have Harry as a husband, which, to him, is a huge thing. It sometimes shocks him, how gorgeous Harry is and how he wanted Louis. That alone has helped his self-esteem bloom, knowing someone so beautiful felt the same way about Louis. It was hard for him to accept for a long time, but Harry truly showed him how beautiful he was, took his time in showing him all of his beauty.

The first time they had sex, Louis was nervous, anxious that Harry would find him ugly and no longer want to be with him. Harry wasn’t his first, but he was the only one that seemed to matter. Louis knew the others wouldn’t stick, weren’t worth Louis’ time, especially after some of the shitty things they had said to him, leaving scars Louis still carries. Harry has helped those fade, though.

Their first time was one of that you’d see in a romantic movie. It was slow and gentle and truly out of a fairytale, it seemed. Harry kissed him, really kissed him, for a long while. Most guys would just strip off their clothes and get right into the good stuff, but Harry savored it all, took his time, as if they had all the time in the world for just that moment, just for them. He kissed and kissed and kissed him, until Louis felt like he couldn’t get enough oxygen to his brain. When Louis could no longer breathe, Harry kissed his body, every inch of it. Louis was worried, thought of Harry seeing his soft stomach and thick thighs and every part of his not-so-toned body, he’d be repulsed and leave. But Harry took it all in, kissed every part of him, ran his hands over all of him. He murmured sweet words, beautiful words, into the darkness of his bedroom, and time seemed to not exist. It was the start of Harry teaching Louis how to love himself, how to see himself as beautiful.

Louis is still learning, of course, especially with the new desires he has and the new way Louis has started to view himself. Everything has changed since he got pregnant, but he’s learning, and it’s getting better, and a lot of that is thanks to Harry.

Well, one anxiety-provoking thing done, and he’s overcome it. It’s not so bad. He likes it, really, so it seems like a win. He was more worried about the makeup, anyway, so he’s still a bit apprehensive about it. He’s willing to try it, though, because Harry spent all that money for him to buy what he wanted and his gut keeps telling him he wants this, wants to enhance himself to feel beautiful. He can do this. He has confidence now, and knows Harry supports him. If he hates it, he never has to do it again, and he won’t have that nagging feeling in his belly telling him he needs it, needs to at least try it.

He shakes it off and heads to the bathroom, holding his makeup bag to his chest. He puts the lights on and heads over to the mirror, opening his bag and laying everything out on the sink counter. He knows you’re supposed to do the eyes last, so he brushes on a very light layer to his cheeks. It doesn’t look bad, actually. It just adds a hint of a flush to his skin and really, he’ll probably manage this color on his own once Harry has him splayed out and falling apart.

Next, he applies a light layer of the pink lip gloss. It’s sticky and weird but it looks…pretty great. It makes his lips look plumper and shiny and completely kissable. He rubs his lips together and smiles a little at his reflection. Okay, this is fine. He can do this. This is okay.

The eyes, it seems, are the hardest. He tries to steady is hand to line his eyes with the black eyeliner and lengthen his lashes with the tube of mascara. His eyes look…insanely sexy. The blue pops so much more with the black, and his lashes are even longer. He strategically strokes on a light layer of eye shadow, a mix of golds and pinks. It looks gorgeous with his tan skin tone and it matches so well with the rest of his makeup. A small part of him would love to hate this, would love to wipe it off and tell Harry he didn’t like any of it and wants to return it all, but he can’t do that. Not after he’s seen how wonderful he looks, and how beautiful he feels, and how ready he is to go out and show Harry just how pretty he is.

He doesn’t even have a second thought when he leaves the bathroom. There’s no internal battle, no worrying about what this means. He struts out of the room, his hands placed on his lower belly. He stands in front of Harry, who’s sitting on the couch on his tablet, flicking through some pictures from a recent photo shoot. He looks up when he hears the patter of Louis’ feet and his jaw goes slack. Louis resists the urge to bite his lip so he won’t mess up his lip gloss.

“What do you think?” he asks shyly. Harry’s opinions mean so much to him, feels like he needs the approval from him, from his _daddy_.

“You look…absolutely…stunning,” Harry says slowly, his hands automatically coming to Louis’ widened hips and pressing a soft kiss to his belly. “You’re so beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen, baby. How do you feel? Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Louis whispers. “Thank you, daddy.”

“Oh, of course, baby girl. I’m so glad you like it. You’re so, so beautiful, princess. I can’t get over how lovely you look. I want to take you apart, baby. I want to fuck you so well your makeup is ruined. Can I do that?” Harry asks, his voice low and his hands stroking over his ass and thighs. Louis swallows thickly and nods once.

“Yes, please, daddy.”

“C’mon, then,” Harry says, standing up and pulling Louis by the hand into their bedroom. Louis follows along with a grin, feeling arousal and excitement budding in his belly.

When they get into their bedroom, Harry closes the door behind them, even though there’s no real reason for it. He takes Louis over to the bed and lays him down on it carefully, smiling as Louis’ head hits the pillow behind him.

“You’re so, so gorgeous,” Harry murmurs, placing a warm kiss to his neck. “God, you’re gorgeous always, but wow. You’re stunning. Absolutely stunning. Tell Daddy how you feel.”

“Good,” Louis breathes. “Beautiful.”

“That makes me so happy to hear,” Harry says. “I’m afraid to kiss you because I don’t want that pretty lipgloss to come off.”

Louis giggles and flushes, probably matching his blush. “You really like it?”

“Baby, I love it,” Harry promises. “I adore it, and I adore you. Do you think you’re up for riding me tonight? So I can see that beautiful face the whole time?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Louis says quietly. He’s feeling good tonight, feeling energetic and definitely up for the physical activity. Some days are iffy lately, his body still adjusting to sharing it with someone else, but today feels like a good day, and now, his day just got so much better.

“I’ll open you up nice and good, yeah?”

Louis can only nod, so Harry gently rolls over while taking Louis with him. Louis straddles his hips and gets comfortable. His heart is still racing wildly in his chest, full of adrenaline from trying so many new things at once, and now having his favorite person underneath him, ready to make love to him. It’s all very much overwhelming.

“Can I leave this on?” Louis asks quietly, referring to his lingerie. Harry grins and nods, putting his hands on Louis’ hips.

“I’d be offended if you didn't, baby.”

Louis grins and works at the buttons of Harry’s shirt. Harry leans over to grab a bottle of lube from their nightstand while Louis pushes his shirt from his chest. He’s already on edge, his cock aching in his panties, needing to get Harry inside of him as fast as possible. He’s been hornier than usual since getting pregnant, but he doesn’t think he can blame the hormones tonight. This is all excitement.

Harry sits up enough to pull of his shirt and toss it aside while Louis works on unbuttoning his jeans. Harry helps Louis out and wiggles himself out of his jeans, kicking them off and letting them fall to the floor.

“Good, you’re naked,” Louis grins. “I need your cock.”

“Funny, since my cock needs your ass,” Harry says in response.

“Such a dork,” Louis laughs. “C’mon, daddy, please stretch me open. Need to get fucked.”

“I will, baby. Daddy’s got you,” Harry promises. It feels like a life-long promise.

Louis leans himself over Harry’s body to spread his cheeks apart to give Harry access. Harry takes it gladly, slicking up his fingers and putting his other hand on Louis’ lower back. Louis puts his hands by Harry’s head to hold himself up.

“You alright, baby girl?”

“’m good, daddy. Need you.”

“I’ve got you. Just relax, baby.”

Louis does relax, always relaxes when he knows Harry has him. He puts his forehead against Harry’s shoulder and Harry’s finger prods at his hole. Louis takes a sharp intake of breath as a digit enters him slowly. It’s so long and lovely and perfect, but Louis needs more.

“More,” he gasps quietly. “Please.”

“Shh, baby, I’m gonna make you feel good. Gonna take it slow though, don’t wanna hurt my girl.”

Louis whines and ruts against Harry’s crotch, trying to gain some friction on his aching cock. Harry rubs at his lower back to calm him, but Louis is incapable of doing calm right now. He’ll need a good orgasm first.

“Gonna fuck you so good,” Harry murmurs, his lips pressed to the middle of Louis’ chest, between where the black lingerie opens to expose his skin. “Gonna fuck you so hard your makeup runs. Gonna have you crying in the best way. Can I do that? Do you want that?”

“Yes, yes, please, daddy,” Louis whimpers. Harry presses a second finger inside of him, scissoring them, careful not to hurt Louis. He strokes over Louis’ prostate, causing Louis to gasp and buck his hips. “Daddy, please!”

“Barely opened, love. Need to give you three fingers first.”

“No, no,” Louis shakes his head. “I can take it, daddy. I need it. Please, please!”

“Alright, alright, shh, baby, daddy’s right here. Calm down, I’m here.”

Louis tries to take a deep breath, calm some of his excitement, but it’s no use. Harry scissors a couple of more times before pulling his fingers out. He uses those same fingers to pump his own cock a few times to slick himself up, and Louis is quick to sit up and reach behind himself to grab at Harry. Harry lets go and Louis grips him, maybe harder than he should, but it doesn’t seem to bother Harry at all.

Louis sits up straighter, curving his back slightly and pushing his hips down. Harry’s cock catches his hole and it opens up to accommodate the girth. Louis gasps and slowly sinks down. He puts his hands on Harry’s chest for support and tries to keep his breathing calm. Once he gets fully on Harry’s cock, he takes a few deep breath and squeezes the base of his cock so he won’t come too quickly.

“Your makeup is still too perfect,” Harry murmurs, giving his hips a squeeze. “Need to change that.”

“You will,” Louis’ laugh is choked. He shifts his body and starts to bounce on Harry’s hips. It’s not easy, with his heavy belly weighing him down, but it feels good either way, and if Harry’s moans are anything to go by, it feels good for him, too.

“Need help?” Harry offers, watching Louis hold his bump as he moves, trying to hold the weight.

“I…yeah, I think so, but still wanna ride you.”

“’kay,” Harry murmurs. He snaps his hips up roughly and makes Louis lose his balance. They both laugh and Louis holds Harry’s hips.

“Tryna kick me off?”

“Never,” Harry promises. “Just want you to come.”

“Real close,” Louis says. “Just, fuck me, please.”

Harry doesn’t answer, because actions speak louder than words. He grips Louis’ hips and starts to buck his own roughly. Louis moans and closes his eyes tightly, trying to put off his orgasm as long as possible. He doesn’t last long lately, but Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He’s usually very proud of the fact he can make Louis come so quickly.

“Oh, god,” Louis mumbles, nails scratching Harry’s hips harshly.

“Want you to come,” Harry murmurs. “Wanna see you come.”

Before Louis gets a chance to answer, Harry is flipping them over. Louis yelps as he lands on his back and Harry forces his legs up against his chest and plows into Louis. Louis cries out, Harry’s cock nailing his prostate easily and that’s all it takes for Louis to come untouched, painting his and Harry’s bellies with white ribbons. He’s got tears in his eyes that are sure to ruin his make up, but he can’t care. He lets Harry use his body to reach his own orgasm, Harry fucking him roughly. He’s oversensitive, but it’s not unbearable; it’s almost good.

Harry leans down and captures Louis’ mouth with his, letting Louis’ lipgloss make their kiss messy and sticky. Harry bites on Louis’ bottom lip and groans, forcing himself fully inside of Louis and shaking as he comes. Louis feels a tear slide down his cheek from the oversensitivity. Harry pulls out a moment later, watching the come drip from his hole obscenely.

“You might look even prettier now that your makeup is all runny and ruined,” Harry murmurs, stroking his thumb over Louis’ mascara-stained cheek.

“Mm, and you look quite nice with my lipgloss on you,” Louis smiles.

“You really do look amazing,” Harry says, quieter. “Beautiful. I’m really glad you like it, and you can use it whenever you want. Or if you need me to get you more, I will. Anything you want, baby.”

“Thanks,” Louis whispers, his throat tightening up. He could easy start to cry right now. Harry is so lovely and wonderful and caring and Louis is overwhelmed with love for him sometimes.

“C’mere, babe. Want to cuddle with you,” Harry says, his voice tired and sated, like it always is after he comes. Louis loves it.

“Yes, please,” Louis murmurs. Harry lies beside Louis and Louis turns so his back is towards Harry’s chest. Harry curls around him and places a hand on Louis’ belly and Louis smiles, putting his hand over his and intertwining their fingers. Harry presses a kiss to Louis’ bare shoulder.

“Love how this outfit looks on you, too. Your body is made for it,” Harry murmurs against Louis’ cooling skin. “Gonna have to buy you more of these, if you want.”

“Yeah,” Louis murmurs. “That would be nice. Really like it. ‘s pretty.”

“Yeah, but you make it a lot prettier,” Harry tells him. Louis grins and squeezes his hand.

“Thanks, love.”

“Love you so much, baby. Love you forever.”

“Love you,” Louis says back, voice full of sleep. “Always.”

_Month 6_

Things are going well. The baby is healthy, Louis is healthy, and Harry has never been happier. Louis hasn’t, either. He’s being taken care of in ways he never thought imaginable, and he’s got a baby girl coming into their lives in just a few months. He’s starting to nest, now, folding clothes and organizing her soft pink and grey nursery. It gives him some peace of mind to sit in the rocking chair and feel good about how ready they are for their baby to come into their world.

“Louis, baby, I’m home!” Harry calls, the front door closing.

“In the nursery, love!” Louis calls back, hanging up some picture frames around the freshly painted walls.

“You live in here now, don’t you?” Harry jokes, dropping a kiss to Louis’ mouth. “We haven’t even had the baby shower yet, Lou. She’s going to be so spoiled.”

“Probably,” Louis shrugs with a grin. “Our little princess, she is.”

“I’ll have two,” Harry smiles, kissing his cheek and Louis blushes lightly.

“What’s in the bag?” Louis asks, putting one hand on his back to support himself as he walks to the other side of the room.

“I got you a few gifts,” Harry says. “I couldn’t help it.”

“Talk about spoiling,” Louis shakes his head with a fond smile. “You’ve gotten me plenty of stuff as it is. I don’t need any more.”

“I couldn’t resist, though,” Harry explains. “I don’t think I want to do it here, though. Probably not very appropriate.”

“Oh, it’s one of those gifts,” Louis laughs, closing a drawer and turning to Harry. “Alright, let’s go to our bedroom, then.”

Harry puts his hand on Louis’ lower back as they walk to their bedroom and Louis plops down on the foot of the bed. He’s starting to get bigger, his stomach heavier and a lot harder to carry around. He finds himself needing to sit more and more frequently, and he’s still got another three months to go.

Harry opens up the bag and pours the stuff out onto their comforter, and Louis’ jaw goes slack. Arousal heats up his insides as he looks at the array of toys Harry has brought home. There’s a light pink glass buttplug, a seemingly nice size to fill Louis up. A glass dildo with notches to feel almost like anal beads—with a pink heart on the top—lies in the pile. There are anal beads, too, hot pink and sparkly. There’s another dildo, purple, made of silicon and more sparkles, thick and long and lovely.

“Oh, daddy,” Louis breathes, running his fingers over everything. “They’re so pretty.”

“Pretty for my pretty girl,” Harry explains. “Thought it would be nice for you to have some extra toys, just in case I’m not home. I know pregnancy makes people horny and all that, so I figured it’d be good to have these around if you need them. Or we could use them together, of course.”

“Thank you,” Louis whispers. “I love them.”

“I’m glad, baby,” Harry smiles, kissing him softly. “Do you want to try any of them?”

“I…yeah,” Louis nods. “Please.”

“Of course. Which one do you want to try first?”

“I’ve never tried anal beads before,” Louis murmurs, running his fingers over the pink plastic.

“Those do seem fun, hmm? Saw a video of someone using it, wanted to see how it looked. Thought it would be so gorgeous in you,” Harry says, his fingers dancing over Louis’ thigh.

“Think so?” Louis breathes, goosebumps rising over his skin.

“Definitely. Everything does, though,” Harry smiles. Louis blushes with a giggle.

Harry strips them both down to nothing and kisses him before grabbing lube. “How do you want it, babe? Whatever you think is most comfortable we’ll do.”

“Um,” Louis thinks. “My back, I think. For now.”

“Okay. If it gets uncomfortable just let me know and I’ll help you into a different position.”

Louis loves when Harry gets like this, always showing how much he cares and making sure Louis is comfortable. Even when Harry’s on the brink of an orgasm, his top priority is Louis.

Harry strips them of their clothes and Louis opens up his legs, putting his feet on the bed to give Harry access. “Wanna be prepped with the beads.”

“Sure thing, love. What do you want after the beads?”

“I dunno yet,” Louis mumbles, already feeling like he’s slipping under. “The pretty glass dildo, maybe.”

“Good choice,” Harry grins. He takes the anal beads and a warming lube he just purchased and sits them next to Louis’ feet. He leans down to kiss a line down Louis’ growing belly and press a slicked up bead to his tight hole. Louis tries to relax his body, but he always seems to get a little tense right before being entered. Once he gets past the initial breakthrough, he’s fine, but those first few pushes are never easy on him.

It’s good, though. The first bead is so small Louis barely feels it, but the second one makes more of an impact. Louis puts his hands on his belly because he isn’t sure what to do with them. The third one is bigger, but not bad. It’s maybe the size of a marble.

Harry leans down and takes Louis’ cock between his lips, sucking on the head as he presses the fourth one in. Louis moans and clenches around it to pop it inside of him. Harry takes him down further for the fifth one, which is close to the size of a golf ball, so it’s a bit harder to take. He relaxes when his cock hits the back of Harry’s throat and the bead is swallowed.

“Might come like this,” Louis warns, only one bead left for him to take. It’s a little strange, the feeling of the round plastic sitting inside of him, but they’re right up against his prostate, and with Harry sucking his cock, it’s all very good.

At that, Harry presses the last bead in, and it falls inside easily. Louis whimpers, feeling full and ready to come any minute. Before he can, though, Harry is popping off of him and pulling on the string of the toy. Louis gasps quietly at the pressure of the beads pushing against his entrance.

“Gonna pull them out and fuck you with the dildo, yeah?” Harry murmurs, tugging again. Louis nods silently and bites his lip as one bead pops out. Harry sucks him down again as he continues to gently pull the toy our bead by bead. Louis moans and tangles his fingers in Harry’s curls.

“Don’t make me come,” Louis warns. “Wanna come on the dildo instead.”

Harry smirks around him and pulls off again. “I like how you know what you want, baby. I love that. You’re getting so good at being confident in telling me what you want and need. I’m so proud of my baby.”

“Yeah?” Louis smiles, flushing slightly.

“So proud,” Harry murmurs, pressing a kiss to Louis’ stretch belly. After all the beads are pulled out, he grabs the glass dildo with the heart on the end. It’s way too pretty to be a sex toy, really.

Harry lies himself belly-down on the bed between Louis’ legs and presses the cool glass to Louis’ prepped hole. Louis gasps, the glass so different than Harry’s cock or even the plastic. It’s lovely in such a warm part of him.

While Harry is pressing the toy inside of him, his licks around his greedy hole, cooling his heating skin further. Louis loves being eaten out so much, or even just having Harry’s lovely tongue on him there. It always feels incredible.

The toy makes its way further inside of him and Louis arches his back with pleasure. “God, yeah, daddy, yes.”

Harry tongues around the glass and his taint, putting pressure on it and slightly stimulating his prostate from the outside. It makes Louis tremble, and he’s been on edge for forever, it feels like. He needs to come. Desperately.

“Daddy, daddy, please, let me come! Need to come,” he whines, thrashing his head on the pillow. Harry forces more of the toy inside, all the way in, until only the heart is peeking out from between his perky cheeks.

“God, that’s such a pretty sight,” Harry murmurs, twisting the heart and makes it turn inside of him. Louis moans and pushes his face into his pillow. “Feel good?”

“Yes,” Louis whimpers. “Yes, daddy.”

“You getting close?”

“Been close,” Louis whines. “Need to come.”

“You can,” Harry pulls the toy out and pushes it back in slowly. His lips wrap around Louis’ cock again and Louis sobs, covering his face with his hands and shaking through an orgasm. Harry swallows around him eagerly and pulls off with a loud pop.

“Want you…want you to come on my belly,” Louis begs tiredly. “Will you?”

“Fuck, yeah, course,” Harry nearly groans. He pulls out the dildo carefully and puts it between Louis’ lips. Louis takes it gratefully and sucks on the now warm glass tasting like himself.

Harry sits up on his knees and quickly tugs himself off and aiming for Louis’ round belly. Louis sucks on the glass seductively, eyes hooded as he watches Harry, and Louis would like to think that’s what pulls Harry over the edge. He nearly whimpers and spills over his hand and onto Louis’ stretched skin. Louis takes the toy out of his mouth and drags his fingers across the mess Harry’s made. He sucks them into his mouth to swallow Harry’s come and give him a wink.

“You’re going to kill me one day,” Harry grumbles, throwing himself down next to Louis and kissing his shoulder. “Absolutely kill me.”

“Good, that’s the plan. I want you out of the picture so I can be with my true love and the real father of my baby, Bradley Cooper,” Louis says seriously, trailing his fingers across Harry’s sweaty chest.

“Oh, that’s the master plan, is it?” Harry teases. “What are you waiting for, then? Why are you keeping Bradley waiting?”

“Mm, guess you’ve grown on me quite a bit, so I told him I’d be staying with you for a while first,” Louis grins.

“Well, I’m very happy to hear that,” Harry whispers. Louis smiles and lays his head on Harry’s chest and dances his fingers over the skin of his torso.

“Good. I love you a lot, you know. Like, an insane amount.”

“More than Bradley?” Harry’s lips quirks up.

“Much more,” Louis whispers.

Harry grins dopily and presses a tender kiss to Louis’ lips. “Love you more than anything in the world. Love you and our baby girl. So proud to call you my husband.”

“Don’t make me cry now,” Louis laughs quietly. “You know I’m overly emotional lately.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Harry hums.

“Too tired to cry.”

“Sleep, babe. I’m sure I wore you out. I’ll make dinner while you nap, how’s that?”

“Perfect,” Louis smiles. “You’re going to be the best dad there is, I swear.”

“I can only hope so,” Harry smiles back. “You’ll be the best mommy. Already are.”

Louis grins and puts a hand in the middle of his belly, rubbing it softly. “Hope so.”

_Month 7_

The thing is, not every male pregnancy entails lactation. Some men don’t have enough hormones to produce enough milk to feed their baby, or any milk at all, for that matter. A part of Louis was hoping he wouldn’t lactate at all. He felt it would be too embarrassing, too womanly, which he knows is ridiculous, since he’s carrying a baby, and men do it all the time. He should want to feed his baby directly from him, be able to do something so incredible, but there’s still that part of him that’s afraid of humiliation. It’s stupid and illogical and he already knows that, but he can’t seem to help it.

His wishes don’t come true, though. He wakes up in the middle of the night because of discomfort. His shirt is wet and he panics. The only light in their bedroom is the moon shining in from the windows, but it’s enough to see the patches on his blue shirt. Fuck. He’s _leaking_.

Harry must be emotionally attached to him, or something, because he wakes up, even though Louis is sure he doesn’t move enough to wake him. Harry’s hand reaches out to cover his belly and give it a rub.

“’s the matter?” Harry says groggily. “Baby kicking?”

“No,” Louis sighs. “I’m okay. Go back to sleep.”

“You’re awake for a reason,” Harry says, then yawns. “Tell me what’s the matter, Lou.”

“I’m fucking leaking,” Louis spits, closing his eyes and throwing his head back onto the headboard.

“What?”

“My nipples, Harry. Leaking. Milk. I’m _lactating_ ,” Louis sulks. “And I can’t say it’s the most comfortable thing in the world.”

“Does it hurt?” Harry asks, laying on his side and propping his head up.

“Yeah,” Louis sighs. “It does. Like, a lot more than I thought it would. I was hoping I wouldn’t even do this at all.”

“Why?” Harry frowns. “I know it hurts right now, babe, but I think it’ll be nice that you can feed her yourself, you know? We’ll also save money on formula.”

Louis knows he’s trying to get him to laugh, but he can’t. He’s hormonal and tired and still leaking. He can’t even smile right now. He refuses.

“Really, babe, it’s okay,” Harry murmurs. “You don’t have to feed her like this if you don’t want to. We can get you some of those little pads to absorb it and eventually it’ll stop once she gets here and they aren’t used. Don’t feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do just because you’re capable of doing it. It’s really okay if you don’t want to.”

“I know,” Louis says quietly. “But I should want to, is the thing. A lot of guys don’t get to do it. Besides, it’s better for her and I heard the bond is always better between the parent and baby when they breastfeed. I’m just…irrationally embarrassed.”

“Oh, Lou,” Harry murmurs, rubbing his belly and kissing his shoulder. “There is no reason to be embarrassed. If you want to do it, you should do it. I think it does have some great benefits and it would be good for you both, but only if you really want to.”

“I really think I do,” Louis says. “I want to give her the best, because she deserves it. It just…it hurts. And like, obviously she isn’t around, but it’s starting already, and I still have a full two months to go.”

“Well you can always use a pump to get rid of the excess to ease your discomfort until she comes,” Harry suggests. 

“I don’t have one,” Louis frowns. “Didn’t know if I should buy one, because I didn’t know if this would become a thing or not. Guess I’ll have to get one now.”

“I’ll pick one up for you. I can go today if you need it.”

“It’s three in the morning, Haz. Afraid no place will be open for that until at least the sun rises.”

“Well maybe we don’t need a pump then,” Harry says tentatively. “There are…other ways of getting rid of it.”

“Like what?” Louis asks, unsure if he’s following. He thinks he might get it, but, no, Harry definitely isn’t asking to do _that_ , is he? There’s no way.

“Like…I could do it for you. That’s a thing, isn’t it? I think partners do it sometimes. Blocked ducts and stuff like that. It doesn’t have to be sexual. Unless, I mean, you want it to be. Nothing wrong with that either,” Harry says quickly. Harry is normally so eloquent when it comes to speaking about this stuff, but right now he seems to be floundering slightly. Louis doesn’t blame him, since it’s a strange topic with uncharted territory for them, and he doesn’t know the right thing to say. Louis thinks he’s doing just fine, though.

“I…I don’t know,” Louis swallows. “It’s…weird, innit it? Embarrassing.”

“’s not, though,” Harry assures him, his eloquence back, seemingly more confident. “Look, baby, it hurts, right?”

“Yeah,” Louis whimpers, because it does hurt. A lot. He imagines this is how it feels to have tits. Visually, he’s got none, only very slightly swollen, puffy nipples, but they’re so full it feels like he’s carrying around heavy breasts. He thinks if he doesn’t do something soon, he’s going to explode.

“C’mon, baby, it’s alright,” Harry murmurs, sitting up and taking Louis’ face in his hands. “Let daddy take care of you, okay? Let daddy take care of his baby.”

Louis shivers. There’s really no way he can say no to that. Harry truly knows exactly what to say and how to make Louis feel better. Louis’ pulse is jackrabbiting in his ears, though, nervous to even show Harry his chest. They’ve done so much together, and he’s gained a lot of confidence thanks to Harry, but this feels like it’s crossing a line. Realistically, though, he doesn’t have an option, because he’s in pain and it’s the middle of the night.

“Yes, daddy,” Louis nearly whimpers.

“C’mere, love,” Harry says softly, helping Louis sit up properly and get him out of his wet t-shirt. Louis whines, the brush of the material over his swollen nipples even pain inducing. He glances down to find his pecs puffier than normal, veins showing prominently against his pale skin and nipples erect and ready to go. He wants to cry.

Harry can sense his discomfort, of course, and kisses him comfortingly. “Hey, daddy’s got you, baby girl. Daddy’s going to make the pain go away. Can you let me do that for you?”

Louis nods and clenches his fists. He swallows the lump in his throat and closes his eyes, Harry mouth trailing down the skin of Louis’ neck. He’s gentle when he gets to Louis’ chest, careful not to hurt him. It hurts anyway, the soft pressure of his kisses, but in a _good_ way, which is okay.

“I’ve got you, love. Gonna make the pain stop. Can you be a good girl and get through it?” Harry asks, moving so his legs are straddling Louis’.

“I’ll try, daddy,” Louis whispers.

“You can be good for me,” Harry assures him. “Always so good for daddy. Want my fingers or mouth?”

Louis wants to say mouth, but he’s afraid that might be too weird for him to handle. “Fingers, I think.”

“Okay,” Harry murmurs. His fingers dance across Louis’ chest and softly pinches his fingers around Louis’ nipple, which only makes Louis cry in pain.

“Ow! Ow, Harry, no, no, can’t, no,” Louis cries, unable to push Harry’s hand away fast enough.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, baby,” Harry soothes, kissing his cheek. “I’m sorry. Can I try with my mouth instead? Think that’ll hurt a lot less.”

Louis wants to say no, say it’s too odd, but he’s desperate for this pain to go away, and using his fingers is not an option. “Yeah, please, daddy, hurts.”

“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you. Just relax for me.”

Louis nods and tries to calm his nerves. He lays still for Harry and waits for it. Harry’s mouth encloses over one of Louis’ erect nipples and Louis flinches in pain. Harry reaches out his hand and Louis takes it gratefully. He knows it’s going to hurt, since his body has never done this before, but he knows he’ll be relieved once it’s all said and done. He just needs to grin and bear it.

Harry begins to gently suck, trying not to put Louis in more pain than he needs to be. Louis bites the inside of his cheek to distract from the pain, but he feels relief come in a rush. He can feel the milk expel into Harry’s mouth and the pressure in his pec decrease greatly.

“Oh,” Louis sighs in relief. He puts a hand in Harry’s curls and fingering his scalp. “Thank you, daddy, thank you.”

It feels almost too good. Harry’s mouth is always glorious, but now, wrapped around Louis’ tender nipple and literally being fed from him…it’s overwhelming. It’s almost too much to handle. He doesn’t know what to do with all of this stimulation. It’s too much, and not enough.

Harry switches nipples to even the playing field, and it hurts a little again, but the pain is over quickly when Harry finally gets the milk to flow. Louis moans a little, so happy to feel so much relief. Harry’s mouth is warm and inviting and so fucking wonderful. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

“D-daddy,” Louis splutters, his cock starting to harden in his sweats, which he was certainly not expecting. He thought this would just help the pain go away, but now it’s starting to arouse him. Fuck.

Louis doesn’t even have to tell Harry, is the thing, because he just knows. What else is new, though. His hand finds itself down Louis’ sweats and gripping Louis’ hard cock. Louis bucks into it instantly, crying out softly.

“Oh, daddy, yes, please!” Louis whines. He’s so close already, always feels close lately. All the hormones in his body make coming undone so easy. It happens so fast sometimes he doesn’t even see it coming. Harry seems to like that, though, seems to try and get him off in record breaking times.

Harry continues to suck on his nipple, pulling all traces of milk from it, while his hand grips and tugs at Louis’ leaking dick. Louis moans, throwing his head back. His back arches (as much as it can, what with his large belly weighing him down), and he comes hotly into his sweats. He pants, already oversensitive everywhere seconds after his orgasm. Louis pushes Harry away, shaking slightly with the aftershocks.

“You okay?” Harry asks, kissing Louis’ neck and rubbing his side. “That was a big one.”

“Yeah,” Louis gasps. “I don’t know what happened there.”

“Felt good,” Harry smiles. “Tasted good, too. Feel better?”

“So much,” Louis says. “Thank you for that. Really, thank you. It doesn’t hurt at all anymore.”

“I’m so glad, babe. Do you want to still buy a pump?”

“I should have one for when the baby comes, but, if it’s okay with you, maybe you could help me out until she gets here?” Louis asks hopefully and bites his lip.

“I’m more than okay with that,” Harry grins, leaning down to kiss Louis and lick into his mouth. Louis hums at the slight taste of himself.

“Not bad,” Louis murmurs against his lips.

“Not bad at all,” Harry agrees and kisses him again.

_Month 8_

“Do you think we should try stuff before the baby comes?” Louis asks casually, his mouth full of chips dipped in nutella, his lips a mess of salt and chocolate. They’re in the living room in front of the TV, Louis only in one of Harry’s t-shirt’s in the warm summer air, legs crossed underneath him.

“Try what?” Harry asks, confused. He’s going through his laptop and fixing and touching up some pictures for a photo shoot he did for a newly engaged couple. “Like, snails or something?”

“No,” Louis laughs, licking his dirty fingers. “Not what I meant. Like, sexual stuff. Can’t imagine we’ll have much time for sex once she comes along.”

“What’s left?’ Harry cracks a smile. “I feel like we’ve done so much already. What have we been doing the past six months?”

Louis smirks and shakes his head. “Yeah, but I mean like, “normal” couple stuff. Like, spanking and BDSM and all that.”

“I wouldn’t say that’s very normal either, Lou,” Harry furrows his brows. “Nothing is normal when it comes to sex. There are no lines of right and wrong. Don’t talk like that anymore. You know I hate that.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Louis promises. “Just meant stuff you see in porn, I guess. That sort of stuff.”

“Do you want to try that stuff? Spanking? BDSM?”

“I don’t know, maybe. Just to see what it’s like. I figured this will be our last chance to try stuff. Once she comes we’re not going to have time to ourselves and I won’t be able to have sex for a while so I thought it would be fun for us to have our last hoorah.”

“Ah, a last hoorah,” Harry grins. “That makes more sense.”

“Is that…okay? I mean, what do you think of it?” Louis asks, slightly nervous. He really doesn’t know why, because he knows Harry will be on board, because he’s always on board with anything Louis wants, always willing to do whatever he might enjoy.

“Yeah, of course, baby. Anything you want, I want. We’ll try it and maybe discover some more kinks of yours,” Harry winks.

“Maybe,” Louis giggles. “You never know.”

“Always something new with you, baby,” Harry grins.

“Hey,” Louis pouts.

“I mean it in the best way possible,” Harry promises. “I love that about you.”

“You better,” Louis says, lightly smacking Harry’s chest.  
~  
Harry makes a whole night of it. They go out to a romantic dinner and Harry takes Louis to a cute gelato place right after, which makes Louis happier than anything. He’s had a serious sweet tooth this pregnancy.

It seems pretty obvious that Louis is definitely in the mood tonight. He’s been giving Harry his bedroom eyes all night and rubbing his upper thighs seductively under the table. Louis is absolutely ready to get home and get fucked, but he still takes his time finishing off his gelato. The gelato might actually be better than sex. He won’t tell Harry that, though. That’s a bruise to his ego he might not get over.

They eventually do leave, after Louis has happily finished off his own—and some of Harry’s—gelato. On the way home, Louis talks and talks about what they’re going to do when they get into their bedroom.

“Think I want you to tie me up,” he starts, rubbing his belly as he speaks. “Tie me up and spank me.”

“We’ll need a safe word,” Harry tells him sternly. “We won’t do it unless I’m sure you’re okay the whole time. What do you want our safe word to be?”

“Maybe we should keep it easy and use red? That’s common, innit?” Louis suggests.

“That’s a good one,” Harry agrees. “Easy to remember, too.”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “So, red is our official safe word.”

“Surprised we haven’t had one earlier,” Harry wonders out loud. “Been together so long, figured we’d have had one.”

“I don’t think we really needed one, though. We’ve been pretty safe about things. When it came to things like all the stuff I wanted, you always check in and I’d always let you know if I was uncomfortable.”

“That’s true,” Harry hums. “Well, now we have it, just in case.”

“Now we do.”

When they get home, Harry holds Louis’ hand as they walk in and towards the bedroom. Louis doesn’t feel nervous at all, only excited. He’s grown so much as a person since first trying new things with Harry, and at this point, he’s been seasoned. He trusts Harry with every part of his being, and he knows Harry is always going to take proper care of him. Nothing can scare him now. 

“Feelin’ okay?” Harry asks when they get into their room. His hands are sitting on Louis’ widened hips and his lips are by his ear.

“Better than okay,” Louis promises, placing a hand over Harry’s beating heart. “I’m ready. Please, daddy.”

“Yeah, baby, yeah,” Harry murmurs, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “C’mon.”

Harry helps Louis out of his shirt, Louis lifting his arms over his head and giggling when the shirt gets stuck over his head. Harry laughs along and finally frees him, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Sorry about that, love,” Harry smiles. “Didn’t mean to hide that beautiful face of yours.”

Louis hums happily and unbuttons Harry’s shirt as quickly as he can. “Can’t wait to get you inside of me. Don’t know how many more times we’ll get this before the baby comes.”

“Guess we need to make the most of our time, don’t we?” Harry smirks, yanking the elastic of Louis’ maternity pants.

“Guess so,” Louis hums in agreement. He steps out of his pants and leaves them in a pile on the floor, working on unbuttoning Harry’s pants. “Need you so bad.”

“You’ve got me,” Harry promises, his voice soft and slow. “Forever and always.”

They kiss slowly for a few moments, tasting each other. Louis wraps his fingers around Harry’s hips, giving the soft skin there a squeeze. He loves Harry’s body, loves the muscular, toned parts and the squishy parts all the same. He just really loves Harry a lot.

“What do you want first?” Harry asks softly, his large, soft hands caressing Louis’ lower back and hips.

“Um,” Louis thinks, drumming his fingers on Harry’s hips. “Maybe you can tie me up somehow and spank me? I’m not sure how it would work, but we could figure it out.”

“What if I tie your wrists and get you on your hands and knees? Does that sound alright?” Harry suggests, his voice careful and considerate. Louis can tell he wants to do this right for him.

“That sounds good,” Louis agrees.

“Don’t want you to be uncomfortable, so I’m going to use one of my headscarves to tie your wrists, yeah? Is that alright?”

“Perfect,” Louis smiles at him. Harry’s smile mirrors his own and he goes to their closet, pulling out a red and blue floral scarf, one of Louis’ favorites. Louis smiles to himself and Harry’s eyes shine.

“Alright, you, let’s get you situated.”

Harry helps Louis onto his hands and knees, which is no easy feat, considering his large belly and a lack of range of motion. He finally settles in and Harry fits a pillow underneath his belly for extra support. He thinks of everything. He’s wonderful.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, ‘m good,” Louis assures him.

Harry sits beside him and ties his wrists together with the silk material of the scarf. Louis tries to pull at them but they stay snug, and Louis smiles.

“Good work, Styles. Were you a boy scout and didn’t tell me?” Louis jokes, making Harry laugh.

“Nope, just good at tying knots. That’s why I married you.”

“Oh my god,” Louis giggles. “You are the corniest person on the face of the earth, you know that?”

“And you wouldn’t change it for the world,” Harry smiles brightly.

“You’re damn right,” Louis smiles fondly. Harry drops a kiss to his lips and finally pulls off his pants, tossing them off the bed.

“You’re ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, baby. I don’t want this to be something you feel obligated to do.”

“No, that’s not it,” Louis assures him, twisting his neck around to try and catch a glimpse of Harry. “I just don’t think this is something you can truly prepare for. Neither of us know how this is going to go. But I want to do this, I promise.”

“Alright, baby, just checking in. Remember our safe word?”

“Yeah, got it.”

“Okay,” Harry murmurs, stroking Louis’ lower back. “Just let me know how it is.”

“I will.”

Louis braces himself for it, fiddling with his fingers. Harry’s hand moves to rub at Louis’ cheeks, and suddenly, it’s smacking against his skin. Louis gasps, because even if he was mentally preparing for it, he couldn’t expect how it would feel. It’s…not good, actually. Maybe he’s just not use to it. Maybe it has to get better.

Harry lets another smack ricochet off of him, and it stings, and not in a good way. He wants to reach for Harry and tell him so, but when he tries to, he realizes his wrists are still bound together. That’s terribly inconvenient. 

Another smack, and another, and by the next one, his eyes are wet. He’s sure that there’s red marks on his pale skin. He absolutely does not like this at all.

“R-red,” Louis whimpers into the pillow below him. “Red.”

Harry stops right away and helps Louis onto his side immediately. He’s always so in tune with Louis, like their souls have been melded into one.

“Hey, baby,” Harry murmurs, rubbing his back soothingly. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

“Don’t like it,” Louis shakes his head quickly. “Hurts.”

“Okay, okay, that’s fine, baby. I’m so sorry I hurt you. We won’t do that anymore. Here, baby, let me cuddle you. I’m so, so sorry, love. Want lotion for it?”

“Yes, please,” Louis whines. “Need to…need you to untie me.”

“’Okay, okay, shh, I’ve got you,” Harry says softly, untying the knot of his scarf and unbinding his wrists. He reaches over to grab a bottle of lotion from Louis’ nightstand and sits up on his knees beside Louis. He squeezes a generous amount onto his palm and sooths his hand over Louis’ red skin. Louis hisses from the sensitivity of it.

“I’m so sorry, love,” Harry apologizes, rubbing his hand over his heated skin gently.

“Not your fault,” Louis assures him, sniffing. “I thought I wanted it.”

“That’s okay. Now we know that’s something you don’t like. I didn’t much like it either. Didn’t like hurting you.”

“Not for us,” Louis agrees. His heart is still pounding in his ears and his bum still stings, but the lotion is helping and he’s glad it’s over.

“Want a bath?” Harry asks. “Might help calm you down. Your shoulders are so tense, love.”

“Bath sounds nice,” Louis hums. He suddenly feels so tired, but baths always help him relax and sleep easier.

“Alright, c’mon, baby, let me help you up. Gonna fill up the tub with nice hot water and we’ll put in one of your new bath bombs, hmm? That sound good?”

“Perfect,” Louis sighs with contentment.

Harry helps Louis roll onto his back and presses a tender kiss to his forehead before leaving the bedroom to go fill the bath. Louis closes his eyes and rubs his belly, trying to regulate his breathing. He doesn’t understand how anyone could possibly like being hit by the person they love, but he doesn’t think he has a lot of room to judge. He doesn’t exactly like conventional stuff, either, so, to each his own, he supposes. All he knows is that spanking is definitely not for them, and that’s okay.

A few minutes later, Harry is coming in and stroking a hand over Louis’ growing belly. “Bath is all ready for us. Still up for it?”

“Yeah, just resting my eyes,” Louis smiles at him. “I’m ready.”

Harry helps him out of bed, supporting his back so he doesn’t fall over. Louis leans into Harry as they walk towards the bathroom, his body feeling heavier than normal. It’s been a long day.

It’s not easy getting into the tub, but thankfully, Harry is there to support him and help him in. Harry follows suit, sitting behind Louis and putting him against his chest. He drops in the red, rose-shaped bath bomb, and Louis inhales the floral scent, leaning against Harry’s shoulder.

“Thanks, love.”

“Of course,” Harry kisses Louis’ shoulder and rubs at his belly. “Feeling better?”

“Much,” Louis hums. “Thank you again. I really didn’t think it would affect me the way it did.”

“Me either. But that’s okay, now we know. We can at least say we gave it a try, right?” Harry drums his fingers against Louis’ stretched skin.

“Right,” Louis agrees. “I just didn’t know I would get so…upset. I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it, I did doubt it, but I didn’t know it would be so awful.”

“That’s really okay,” Harry assures him again. “You like to be taken care of. What I did to you was basically punishment, punishment you didn’t even deserve. I can’t imagine that being arousing. You like to be coddled and held and treated with love, not hit and tied up. That makes perfect sense, so don’t be sorry.”

“How do you always know exactly what to say?” Louis asks in awe, his hands over Harry’s and turning to face him. “Every time I’m upset about something, you just…you get it, you know? You understand me.”

“I try my best,” Harry smiles sheepishly. “I just think we’re just a really good team, that’s all.”

“The best team,” Louis smiles.

_Month 9_

“She’s going to need a name other than Thumper,” Louis murmurs, going through a book of baby names he got at his baby shower. They’re outside on their patio on a sunny September morning. Harry made them French toast with fresh berries. The weather is starting to cool off, though, so Louis is in a large rose jumper and yoga pants, one foot tucked under his bottom. “As cute as it is, I don’t think it’s going to be appropriate.”

“Mm, I suppose,” Harry teases, taking a sip of his tea. “Guess we’ll have to think of a proper name. Does anything look good?”

“There’s a few,” Louis says, a pink highlighter in his left hand and stroking his belly with the left. “Maybe you should pick some and I’ll pick some and we’ll talk about them together.”

“That’s a good idea,” Harry says. “I’ll look up some on the internet. We’ll get our little girl named right now.”

“Let’s do it,” Louis smiles.

Harry pulls out his phone and Louis goes back to reading his book. He hears Harry take a few screenshots and Louis highlights a few more names. It’s a big deal, naming their child. They’re picking a name to give their baby for the rest of her life. Potentially, their baby could absolutely hate her name, and it would be all Louis and Harry’s fault. They could ruin her life, if she hates the name enough. Maybe she’d get teased for her name, bullied, and she’d drop out of school because of it. Sure, it’s illogical, but Louis is working as a human incubator right now, his body is full of hormones and he’s getting close to his due date. His mind is allowed to be a little clouded with illogical thinking.

“Okay, I’ve got my list,” Harry announces.

“Really? Already? That didn’t take too long.”

“No, but if we pick too many, we’ll just end up confused, yeah? If we have too many names we won’t be able to settle on just one. We’re better off making a small list and names we truly love and go from there,” Harry explains, and okay, right, that’s why Louis is married to him. He’s always very rational and capable of talking Louis down. Very good husband, he is.

“You’re probably right,” Louis says. “So many look good though.”

“Can only give her one name, love,” Harry smiles. “Or, technically, two, I guess. Middle name.”

“Not as important though. Not many people will know it.”

“Still have to pick a good one, though.”

“I know, but the first name has to be even better.”

“What did you pick out, then? Let’s see what we’re starting with,” Harry says, sitting on the edge of his seat.

“Okay. Abigail. It means a father’s joy and beautiful. Which, I thought was beautiful,” Louis smiles.

“Very pretty meaning,” Harry agrees. “But Abigail sounds a little…old. I don’t know if I like that.”

“Does sound a little old, doesn’t it?” Louis frowns. “Don’t love the nickname Abby either.”

“Veto,” Harry makes a face.

“Okay, your turn.”

“Anaelle,” Harry says. “It’s French for angel, loosely.”

“Ugh, no French,” Louis sticks up his nose. Harry blinks at him.

“You do know your name is French, right?”

Louis laughs and nods. “Yeah, I know it is, but I don’t want that for my kid. A lifetime of people saying her name incorrectly is not what I want her to go through. It needs to be something people will know how to say.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” Harry grins. “Fine.”

“Bella,” Louis says simply.

“God,” Harry groans. “Bella Swan? No. It sounds like a dog name.”

“Jeez,” Louis laughs. “No mercy with you.”

“Has to be something good,” Harry reminds him.

“Fine, what is yours?”

“Olivia,” Harry says. “Symbol of peace.”

“Oh,” Louis says quietly. Olivia. He tests it out on his tongue and smiles. It feels right, sounds right coming from their mouths. “It’s…it’s beautiful.”

“What was your next one?”

“No, I don’t even want to look anymore. Olivia. That’s it.”

“Yeah?” Harry grins. “We’re going with Olivia?”

“Yeah, our baby’s name is Olivia,” Louis says softly, his lips quirking up. He wills his eyes not to tear up. It’s just a name, and he shouldn’t be crying over it, but it’s _their daughter’s_ name.

“Gotta give her a middle name, too,” Harry reminds him. “Your pick, though. I picked Olivia.”

“Okay,” Louis sniffs, putting his palm tightly over his belly, as to transfer all of his love for his baby right to her, somehow. “What about Grace?”

“Olivia Grace Styles,” Harry says quietly. “That’s…beautiful.”

“I love it,” Louis smiles, eyes tearing again. “Our baby has a name.”

“She does,” Harry says, leaning across the table to catch Louis’ lips with his. “Just a couple of more weeks until we meet her.”

“A little scary, innit?” Louis blows out a small breath. “We’re going to be three people instead of two. We’re going to have someone else living with us. We’re going to be a proper family.”

“I know,” Harry smiles, pressing his lips to Louis’ lips again. “Get ready for me to take so many pictures of you two.”

“You already take so many of me,” Louis laughs. “I can’t imagine how many you’re going to take once she gets here. You’re going to blind her with the flash.”

“I’ll turn it off as much as possible,” Harry laughs. “I’ll be considerate.”

“You better be. And no pictures of me in the hospital, you hear me?” Louis warns him. “Absolutely none.”

“Oh, Lou, c’mon! You can’t be serious,” Harry whines. “Every new parent has to take pictures! I need to take a lot of pictures of you in the hospital bringing our baby into the world. We need lots of pictures of you and her on your first day together!”

When Harry puts it that way, it sounds reasonable. As usual. Everything Harry says is reasonable. How annoying.

“Okay, fine, you’re right. I want lots of pictures of the baby and I, but try not to get gross ones?”

“No such thing with you, my dear.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll change your mind when you see me sweating and screaming,” Louis smirks.

“Shush, you,” Harry says, planting a firm kiss to his nose. “Never going to think anything bad about you. You’ll be giving birth to our baby, Lou. It’s going to be incredible, and I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to be able to fit so much love for you and Olivia in me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle all of that. I’ll probably explode when she gets here, just burst into confetti or rainbows of love.”

Louis bursts into laughter. “You’re so ridiculous.”

“’s true, though. I know somehow the day she comes I’m going to have so much more love for you. I really don’t know how it’s possible, because I already feel like I can’t love you anymore than I do, but I know watching you deliver our baby, _our_ baby, Lou…it’s going to be more than I can handle. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re doing this for us. Honestly, every time I look at you, or even just think about you being pregnant, I feel like my heart is too big for my chest. I don’t…I don’t know how I’m supposed to thank you for this. It feels like it’s so big, like it’s just a huge deal and I don’t know how to repay you. This is huge.”

“Hey, wait a second,” Louis says, putting his hands on either side of Harry’s face. “Why on earth do you think you have to repay me? You make it sound like I’m loaning you money. This is a baby, Haz, a baby we both wanted. It’s not like I did it just for you, as much as you’d like to think so,” they both laugh. “This is for us both, my love. I want to do this just as much as you want me to do this. This is a mutual thing. I love being able to do this for you, baby, and I want to do this again, and again, and maybe once more, if we can handle it. I love you, and I love our baby, and I love the family we’re making.”

“God, stop, I’m going to explode even before our baby gets here.”

Louis laughs and presses a kiss to Harry’s mouth. “Can’t let that happen. Gotta be here for me, yeah? Can’t do any of this without you, especially not give birth to her. I’m going to need you.”

“I’ll be there every second, baby, I promise,” Harry murmurs. “You’ll be sick of me by the end of it.”

“Mm, I don’t think that could ever happen.”

“I hope not.”

“Promise.”

 

“You’re just the most beautiful baby in the entire world, aren’t you, sweetheart?” Louis coos at Olivia while changing her diaper in the nursery. He’s sore and exhausted and can’t even be bothered to shower every day, but he’s so in love. He can’t get enough of his newborn daughter. Even putting her in her basinet next to his bed, he feels like he physically misses her. She’s too far away. he feels like he always needs to be holding her, protecting her from anything and everything he can. He’s been very picky about who can hold her and for how long, because he can’t go that long without holding her himself.

She’s so small and fragile and absolutely beautiful. Her hair is dark like Harry’s with some faint curls from her father, of course. Louis knows that she’s going to have full, bouncy curls like her daddy does when she grows up, but right now they’re just short, gentle swirls of the few hairs on her head. Her eyes are blue, though, bright blue, and both Louis and Harry hope they stay that way. Her skin is fair, like Harry’s, and her nose is small and button like Louis’. She’s so perfect, so lovely, that it’s nearly painful. He can’t believe she’s all theirs.

“Lou, babe, I’m home,” Harry says, voice soft in consideration of the baby. It’s weird, how loud the two of them could be, especially Louis, always yelling to each other if they needed something and laughing loudly. The second Olivia came home with them, though, the house went quiet; a calming quiet for their brand new baby girl.

“Hi,” Louis smiles, picking Olivia up into his arms once she’s settled in a fresh nappy and clean onesie. “Look who’s here, Liv, it’s daddy! We missed him while he was at work, didn’t we?”

“I missed you both,” Harry says with a warm smile. He walks over and places one hand on Louis’ lower back and they share a kiss, then presses a kiss to Olivia’s forehead. He swoops her out of Louis’ arm to cradle her into his chest. “How was your day?”

“Good,” Louis says, brushing away some of Olivia’s hair from her forehead. “She took a nice long nap, so I got to take a nice long nap. She ate well today, too, which is good.”

“Mm, good. Told you it was nothing to worry about. She’s just getting used to it, like you are. Knew she would figure it out and sort herself out soon,” Harry smiles at her, smoothing his finger down her cheek. “Right, love? Gonna be a much better eater now!”

“Hope so. Mommy was worried about you,” Louis says softly, cheeks tinting slightly pink. Harry grins at him.

“I’m sure. Everything is okay now, though, yeah? Got a nice nap in, got a good lunch, will have a nice dinner soon.”

“And best of all, daddy’s home,” Louis smiles. “We’ve got you all to ourselves now.”

“Finally,” Harry grins. “C’mon, I’ll start dinner. I hope you ate lunch,” Harry scolds softly.

Louis ducks his head. “Uh, think I had a banana.”

“Louis, we’ve talked about this. You’ve got to eat more. It’s going to effect what Liv is eating too, babe.”

“I’m trying,” Louis sighs. “I’m just not very hungry lately. I don’t know why. It’s hard for me to eat.”

“Might have to do with something pre-op. We should call the doctor and ask her if this is normal or not and what we should do. I’ll call tomorrow morning,” Harry promises.

“I can do it,” Louis says.

“No, you’ll probably forget or get busy with Olivia. I’ll call during my lunch, it’s no problem. I want to make sure it gets done.”

“Yes, daddy,” Louis says. It could be seen as a joke, of course, but they both know it’s more than that. Harry is, again, being a caretaker for Louis, like a father would. Though Louis could handle it himself, make the call tomorrow, Harry is willing to do it for him. Plus, Harry has been incredibly protective of Louis since the C-section, making sure he’s not pushing himself too hard and his incision heals properly. Louis loves him so much for all that he does, and he loves being cared for like this. He’s come to need Harry, and that’s okay. He’s okay admitting that now.

“Good,” Harry murmurs, kissing his forehead softly. “Now c’mon, baby. You need to eat something. When is the little one due to eat?”

“Soon, I think,” Louis says, checking up at the clock. “Probably another half hour or so.”

“Okay. You go into the living room with her and watch some telly and I’ll start dinner. We can eat after she eats, if you want.”

“That sounds fine,” Louis agrees. “Wanted to watch another episode of Friends anyway.”

“Go ahead,” Harry grins. “Chicken alright?”

“Perfect.”

They part with a kiss and Louis takes Olivia back into his arms and carries her over to the living room. He sits down and sighs tiredly. He’s been doing nothing for a week, basically, besides feeding, changing, and burping Olivia while fitting in naps when possible. He knows it’s only been a week since he delivered, and only four days since he’s been home, but he didn’t think he would feel so exhausted. Harry keeps telling him this is normal and natural and it’s going to take him quite some time to get back to himself, and that’s absolutely okay, but Louis feels a bit helpless sometimes. Harry refuses to let him do any sort of work around the house that isn’t baby related, because he says he needs all the rest he can get. That means no cooking or cleaning or laundry or anything like that, which does frustrate Louis, but he knows that he wouldn’t be able to do it even if he tried. His body just isn’t up to par yet, and taking care of Olivia is enough work as it is. He’s so grateful for having the best husband in the world.

“Alright, Livy, let’s see what Rachel is going to do about Ross cheating on her,” Louis murmurs, cradling her to his chest and keeping a protective hand on her back. “Can’t fall asleep yet, though, love, okay? Gotta stay awake so mommy can feed you in a little while.”

Her lips pout out and her little hand twitches on Louis’ t-shirt. Louis’ chest physically hurts with how much he loves this little girl that he gets to call his own. He takes her little hand in his and presses his thumb inside her palm and kisses the back of it.

“Mommy loves you so much, lovey,” Louis whispers. “And so does daddy, of course. Daddy is the best, innit he? Would do anything for us.”

She snuffs against his chest and Louis smiles. It feels like she gets it. Louis hums and rubs her back, flicking the remote with his free hand to turn navigate to Netflix. He can hear Harry in the kitchen trying to quietly get out the pots and pans and cursing when one pan makes a loud noise. It doesn’t seem to bother Olivia, thankfully. She blinks in surprise, and it looks like she wants to cry, but Louis keeps soothing a hand down her back and she calms down. Louis is pretty good at parenting, it seems.

Louis has to fight to keep his eyes open. He even got to nap today, and he’s still exhausted. He finally gets through the episode though, and checks the clock.

“Hey, love bug, you ready to eat? Mommy thinks it’s time for dinner for you,” Louis says softly, feeling that uncomfortable fullness he’s learned mean it’s feeding time.

“Lou? Do you need me to get you a burp cloth?” Harry says, walking into the living room, drying his hands with a dishtowel as Louis pulls off his shirt.

“Could you, please?”

“Course,” Harry says, draping the dishtowel on the sofa and heading into the nursery. Louis sits up on the couch and cradles Olivia in the crook of his arm.

“You ate so well for mommy earlier, didn’t you, love? Can you do it again?” Louis coos, helping her latch onto his nipple. She, thankfully, does it without any issue. For the first few days of her life, she shied away from him and was fussy about eating, but now she seems to have gotten the hang of it all. Louis smiles down at her and strokes the bottom of her foot with his thumb. “That’s my girl.”

“Here, love,” Harry says softly, putting the burp cloth over Louis’ shoulder.

“Thanks, Haz,” Louis says. “Look, she’s eating proper.”

“I see,” Harry grins. “Knew she’d get the hang of it. Just confused. First week of life can’t be an easy transition.”

“You’re right about that,” Louis laughs. “Sounds awful. Go from a nice, cozy, dark womb to an awfully bright hospital and just when you think you’re trip is over you’re being brought to a house. A lot of moving around for her.”

“Tiring for you both,” Harry murmurs, kissing the top of Louis’ head. “We’ll get a routine down soon enough. In a few weeks we’ll have this down to a science. We’re going to be experts.”

“Hope so,” Louis says. “That’s what the books claim, at least.”

“They haven’t lied to us yet,” Harry grins. “We’ll figure it out, Lou, I promise. I’m going to try and take some time off from work so I can be here to help you out.”

“Oh, Haz, don’t do that,” Louis looks up at him. “I’m fine.”

“I know you can handle this alone, love. But I want to be here to help when things get tough and when you just need some peace and quiet. I want to be able to do that for you.”

“I don’t want you having to take off from work though,” Louis frowns.

“You’re doing it,” Harry reminds him. “A lot of people take time off work after having a baby, Lou, it’s nothing new. Let me help you out. Let me take care of my babies.”

Louis’ cheek flush pink and he smiles softly. “Alright, I guess that’ll be okay.”

“It will be,” Harry says confidently. “You’ll be able to sleep more and take nice baths if you want.”

“Does sound nice. I could really use one of those. It’s so much work to shower lately and a bath is probably easier.”

“I’ll draw you one after dinner, yeah? Put one of your bath bombs in for you. Afterwards I can give you a nice massage, if you’re up for it, hmm?” Harry says, voice like honey. Louis’ spine tingles pleasantly.

“That sounds amazing.”

“Good,” Harry says, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Let me finish up dinner. You okay here?”

“We’re fine,” Louis smiles. “I’ll put her down once she’s finished.”

“Okay. Eat up, my love,” Harry says, brushing a curl off of her forehead. Louis grins and leans his head up, pouting his lips out and waiting for a kiss. Harry snorts out a soft laugh and grants him his wish. Louis smiles against Harry’s lips.

“Okay, now you can leave.”

Harry grins and walks out of the living room and back into the kitchen. Louis smiles down at Olivia. “Daddy is the best, isn’t he?”  
~  
After feeding Olivia, he puts her down in her carrier and brings her into the kitchen so they can keep an eye on her if she gets fussy. They enjoy a quiet dinner, Louis too tired to even talk and Harry is respectful of that fact. Harry sets up a bath for him and goes back downstairs to do the clean up and make sure Olivia is okay. Harry is really as good as they get.

When he gets out of the tub and dries himself off, careful of his incision, he finds a pair of sweats and a t-shirt waiting for him. He smiles to himself and gets dressed, and when he opens the door to their bedroom, Harry is already in his pajamas with Olivia on his chest, both dozing off. It makes Louis’ chest hurts with how absolutely perfect the scene in front of him is.

He crawls besides them softly, trying not to wake them, but Harry’s eyes flutter open.

“Hey, sorry, go back to sleep,” Louis whispers. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, that’s okay,” Harry says, yawning. “I should put her down anyway.”

“And cuddle with me,” Louis says. Harry grins at him as he sits up.

“And cuddle my other baby, yeah,” Harry says softly. “Never too tired for that.”

Harry stands up and presses a kiss to Olivia’s head and lays her into her bassinet next to their bed. He gets back into bed, under the covers, and pulls Louis into his chest. Louis smiles and lays into him carefully, minding his stitches. He fits one of his legs between Harry’s and splays his arm across Harry’s torso, laying his head over Harry’s chest. Harry kisses his forehead and strokes his back.

“This good?”

“Perfect,” Louis murmurs. “Thank you.”

“Mm, love cuddling you.”

“Me too,” Louis smiles, squeezing Harry’s hip. “Hey, can I ask you about something?”

“Yeah, baby, anything,” Harry says, his fingers running up and down Louis’ spine. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything is great,” Louis assures him. “I was just wondering, like, thinking about us and what we’ve been doing. Do you think everything is going to change now that we have a baby? I mean, obviously I can’t have sex for a while, because of the stitches and all that, and it’s not all about sex, as you clear know, but do you think we’ll still…find time for it?”

“Always,” Harry says without hesitance. “That’s something we do for the both of us, Lou, and just because we have a baby doesn’t mean we have to stop that. We need to find time for ourselves. It’s healthy and I know how much you like it, and I certainly do, too. I think it’s good for us. We’ll find time for it, baby. We’ll find time for us.”

“I love you, daddy,” Louis whispers. “Thank you for taking care of us.”

“I love you both so much. Always going to take care of my babies.”

Louis falls asleep to the steady beating of Harry’s heart and love settled in his bones.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is hilourry and i love feedback :)


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